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Archives for March 2011

I am Home; Where is My Lightsaber!

March 30, 2011 | Leave a Comment

light saber
Image from DeviantArt

Last week I went on a business trip to Chicago.  I was gone for a full 7 days and the schedule and work load was absolutely brutal.  My wife travels quite a bit for work but it’s rare that I do so when I am gone for such a long stretch, the kids just freak out.  They don’t know how to deal with it.  It’s kind of odd that it’s mommy that they usually want but they deal with her being away much better than they deal with me being away.

Last year when I went away on a similar trip, I found these little plastic lightsabers that light up and brought them home as “prizes” for my two boys.  I made the mistake of using that trip as a reference point when I explained why Daddy was going away and what I was going to be doing.  I started the conversation off by telling them I was going away and saying “remember when Daddy left last year and came back with those two lightsabers?”.  Their first comment was that they remembered and those lightsabers broke because they played with them too hard.  They had sad little faces until the light bulb finally went off and they realized I was going to the same convention again this year.  Suddenly the sad little faces got happy and they started yelling that they were getting new lightsabers.  From that point on I could have told them I was going to China for 6 months, it wouldn’t have mattered, visions of lightsabers were dancing in their heads.

I created a monster!

I split up the drive out to Chicago to two days because we (me and one of my employees) weren’t able to leave until the afternoon of day 1.  At the end of  day 1, we stopped at a hotel and I called home.  First thing out of Sean’s mouth was “did you get our lightsaber yet!”.  I had created monsters!  They were more concerned with their potential prizes than they were they I had gone away.  Oh well, it was still pretty cute and once we got past that, they were genuinely excited to hear from me.

The rest of the week started off the same way but something really sweet happened half way through.  By the time day 4 rolled around, all they wanted to do was talk to me, find out what I did that day and tell me what they did.  It was really sweet and it made being away from home both easier and much more difficult.

When I finally returned home brandishing their brand new lightsabers (among other things) their first question was “Did you get us a lightsaber” and the second question was “did you get us anything else”.  Haha, oh well.  Finally by the third or fourth question they started asking me about my trip and how I was and their true excitement to see their daddy home started shining through.

Do your kids expect presents when you go on trips?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Random Musings, Shopping Tagged With: Lightsaber, Presents, Travel

The Lion in Love; an Aesop’s Fable

March 29, 2011 | Leave a Comment

A Lion demanded the daughter of a Wood Cutter in marriage.  The father, unwilling to grant the request but afraid to refuse, decided on a plan.  He expressed his willingness to accept the Lion as the suitor of his daughter if the beast would allow the man to extract his teeth and cut off his claws, as the daughter was afraid of both.  The Lion cheerfully assented to the proposal and, returning with teeth and claws gone, he called upon the father to accept him as a son-in-law.  The Wood Cutter, no longer afraid, set upon the Lion with a club and drove him away into the forest.

Love can tame the wildest.

Lion in love

How would you use this fable to teach your children?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Aesops Fables Tagged With: Aesop, Fables, Lion in Love

10 Ways to Save on Your Next Grocery Bill

March 26, 2011 | 1 Comment

Save money when filling your grocery bagWe are all looking for ways to make our dollar stretch further. I shared some ways to save money at the pump a few weeks ago; today we’ll look at ways to save even more money but in a different area of your budget. Are you saving all you can on your grocery bill? Do you clip coupons, and shop sales, but still feel like there might be some other ways you could still save? I have some some tips to share that I hope will help you spend less and save more.

1. Have a snack before heading out

You can save money at the grocery store simply by eating, before you go. You are less likely to pick up items that are not on your list, or items you don’t need, if you have a full tummy!

2. See if your favorite store price matches

If you go to the grocery (or any other store for that matter) and know that an item is less expensive elsewhere, many store will honor the competitors price. This is fantastic because it saves time and fuel — so just ask!

3. Plan your meals and make a list

Okay —  this tip consists of two things, but they do go hand-in-hand. If you plan your meals in advance you will save later on. Maybe you won’t see the savings at the grocery store, but during the week you won’t be eating out, or making unnecessary trips to the store — where you’ll end up spending even more money. After you plan your meals, if you make a list and stick to it, that will also help you to remain focused on the items you do need — then you be less likely to over spend.

4. Buy fruits and vegetables that are in season

We all know that fruits and veggies that are not in season usually cost a lot more and often times, they don’t taste as good as when they are in season. If you want something that isn’t in season, buying it in the freezer section is the next best option.

5. Buy in bulk — but be sure to compare prices

Sometimes buying in bulk can save you money. We actually buy pasta, rice, and spices in bulk and we save a lot of money this way. If you buy at the big club stores like Costco or Sam’s Club, be sure to compare what you are getting there with what you find at your regular store. Often times you can save money but sometimes, it can actually cost you more. Another thing you should always do is to look at the price per unit on the grocery self. This lets you know if buying the bigger bag is really the best deal. It also helps you compare prices between different brands. When buying meat you want to compare price per serving and not price per pound.

6. Go meatless a couple of times a week

If you can make a couple of meatless dishes during the week, that can help save money too. Need some yummy ideas? Delicious Vegetarian Recipes

7. Say no to drugs

Of course you should, but I’m talking drugstore items. Many times over the counter drugs, cosmetics, shampoos, etc. are more expensive at the grocery store; so do your research before buying those items.

8. Cut out soda and cut back on juice

For kids, you can water down their juice – which is better for them anyway – and it makes the juice last twice as long. Cutting back or cutting out soda is good for your budget and your health. Drink more water and if that bores you to death — put a lemon or cucumber slice in it for a tasty addition.

9. Do it yourself

Instead of buying grated cheese, sliced and peeled carrots, cookies, muffins, etc.  – if you have the time – do it yourself. It can save a lot of money in the long run.

10. Buy store brands

Store brands have come a long way. Many of them are just as good as some of the higher priced name brand products BUT some are not so proceed with caution. It’s worth a try though because you can save quite a bit if you do end up switching.

How do you save on groceries?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Money and Finances, Shopping Tagged With: bulk, compare prices, DIY, drugstore, grocery list, Grocery Shopping, in season, juice, meal plan, meatless, price matching, Saving Money, snack, soda, vegetarian

Waiting and Waiting For Warm Weather

March 25, 2011 | 1 Comment

It is time for spring cleaning
Image on DeviantArt

Oh, I am so ready for spring! I know I keep saying it but it’s true. Being in the house is good..but not all winter. That is not counting the fact I am really not a cold weather person.

I have no idea how true the term Spring Fever is. The definition states that it is a “term applied to several sets of physical and psychological symptoms” such as an increased level of energy and vitality. The rest of the definition I am not going to put here because it looks as though a few other things increase and this is a family site (moms and dads know how to use the link provided).

Time for Spring Cleaning

Knowing that the warm weather is still a few weeks off here in the North I have begun what I call the “I need a change and can’t stand the clutter mode”. I start looking around my house with a look of vengeance. I want to get rid of all of the clutter and I am on a mission. In this house it means lookout Mom is at it again.

Am I the only one that gets like this? Probably not and some good does come from it. The house gets a thorough cleaning. Everything (almost) gets put in its place. Trash bags get filled and Salvation Army makes out very well. I even go through this phase that I am going to make some extra money and sell odds and ends that we don’t use on Ebay and Craigslist.

In the end it all turns out well and the boys find toys that they forgot they had as well as those cool jeans that I found in the corner of their room. Well, there are other things that I find but I am not sure what IT is supposed to be. Another lesson learned is that when I clean their room it is easier if they are not underfoot. It amazes me that things they have not touched in a year all of a sudden become something they NEED.

I actually move furniture and rearrange the rooms..it is a good feeling of accomplishment. As much as I love my family not one person warned me about the horror of clutter and socks before I married.

So, any idea on how to wait for the warm weather after this house is done? Could someone speak with Mother Nature for me?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Random Musings Tagged With: House Keeping, spring, Spring Fever, warm weather

Three Cheers for SPRING!!!!

March 24, 2011 | Leave a Comment

Spring Flowers
Picture from: B. Monginoux / Landscape-Photo.net (cc by-nc-nd)

Yes — I’m a little excited. I am just so happy that spring has arrived here, in the Pacific NW. Sure, it’s a bit soggy but our temperatures have warmed up and we are seeing some sunshine. If you don’t remember what that glorious glowing orb in the sky is — you are not alone. Every spring I feel like a mole peeking up through a hole in the ground.

Farmer’s Market

Spring is the beginning of so many fun things! For instance, we love going to our local Farmer’s Market! In the beginning the pickings are slim — but slowly the market fills up with fresh fruits, vegetables, the most beautiful bouquets of flowers, plants, and homemade items. The food vendors are our market are wonderful as well! I’m getting hungry just writing about it. It’s a great place to run into people you know and a fantastic way to support the local community and economy. Our boys absolutely love going to the farmer’s market in our area; it’s right next to a beautiful park downtown. Did I mention that they also happen to sell the most delicious cookies ever! We usually head down there on a Saturday morning, do our shopping, grab some cookies, eat them in the park and then head home.

Gardens

Spring also means we will start thinking about planning our garden for the year, getting the yard cleaned up, and planting flowers. I’m not much for yard work but I like having a garden and I love pretty flowers! Spring is also great because it’s still wet enough that I don’t have to remember to water the plants. Unfortunately, I’m not good at remembering that. I’ll try to be better this year…

When spring arrives we begin to make frequent trips to the park – in between showers that is – and the boys can play out back on their swing set more (which means less wrestling in the house). There are also fun activities like Easter egg hunts and the Tulip Festival!

Yes, indeed — spring sprung and I for one couldn’t be happier about it. Yay Spring — You ROCK!!!

What are you doing to celebrate the spring?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Random Musings Tagged With: Farmer's Market, Garden, spring

Tips for Approaching Parents of Twins

March 23, 2011 | Leave a Comment

Having twins requires a special parenting styleAs I have mentioned many times — I’m a Mom of twin boys and I absolutely love it! I have never minded the attention that has come because of our double blessing. I think most parents of twins agree that it’s fun (as long as you aren’t in a big hurry) and you get to talk to a lot of nice people.

When the boys were babies, people would stop to talk to us wherever we went. I suppose it’s hard to miss someone walking by with a double stroller that contains two precious, rosy cheeked babies. Some of the most common questions we were asked – and still get – are:

  • Are they twins?
  • Are they identical?
  • Which one was born first?
  • Do twins run in your family?
  • How far apart are they?
  • What are their names?

I honestly don’t mind answering questions about the boys — and I haven’t really been offended by any we’ve been asked (not yet anyway). Some inquiries seem a tiny bit personal, but I have those types of answers all prepared. I’m a people person – and I’m also pretty easy going – so it hasn’t ever bothered me too much. My husband used to get a little annoyed with the “Are they twins” question when the boys were babies. He always wanted to say “No, they are triplets but we left one at home.” He never said that though. Of course, now when people ask us if the boys are twins – I don’t really blame them because they don’t look a like. Actually, A. is usually an inch and a half, to two inches taller than N. — always has been.

The fact of the matter is, twins and other multiples are fascinating to a lot of folks. They were always interesting to me, and I guarantee you I asked some silly questions. This is why I thought if I gave you some information about twins — it could help you out when approaching these families.

Facts about twins

Here are is a quick fact about twins that you might find very helpful — especially if you don’t know a lot about them.

What is the difference between fraternal and identical twins?

Our boys are fraternal, which means are as different as any other set of siblings — they just happen to be born at the same time. Fraternal twins occur because of a double ovulation; two separate eggs and fertilized separately. Sometimes when people stop us to ask if the boys are twins, they seem surprised and say, “Well, they don’t look alike.” Not all twins look alike they can actually look very different. One such example would be boy/girl twins — now that’s different! I know some people who have b/g twins who get asked frequently if they are identical — I think I may have asked this question myself before. The answer is always no and here’s why.

Identical twins are a result of one egg and one fertilization — what happens is, the egg  splits. These twins will look very much alike because they share the same DNA. This is why b/g twins can’t possibly be identical. When identical twins are infants – and even as they grow – it may be very difficult for people to tell them apart. However there are certain markings, mannerisms and other subtle differences that can help. Of course, it is important t remember that just because these twins look the same on the outside; they are still different people.

Questions and Comments to Avoid

Even well meaning people can make comments without thinking things through. Some of the most common comments that parents of twins get – and you should avoid saying – are:

“Looks like double trouble.”

If I had a nickle for every time I heard this, I’d have enough money saved up to send both boys to college. People say it because it’s a catchy rhyme I guess — but I would suggest saying something like “Looks like a double blessing” or “You’ve got double the joy.” These positive comments go over much better with parents of twins. I have had people say these things to me and I appreciated it.

“How do you do it?”

To which I say — “I just do it.”

“Better you than me!”

Yes — I agree!

“Oh, he must be the smart one.”

Uh…yeah…they are both very smart, thank you very much.

“Your kids are both cute, but she is much prettier.”

This wasn’t said to my kids — but a stranger did say this to a twin mommy friend of mine. I was shocked when she told me, but what made it worse was that her six year old girls heard the whole conversation. Since that time I have read several posts from other moms who have had the same experience. The sad thing is – many times – it’s family members who will say it and even do so in front of the kids.

“Did you have an IVF (in vitro fertilization) done?”

Before I answer, may I ask how your children were conceived?

“Do twins run in your family?”

Yes, and usually in different directions…haha! I actually just saw this on a t-shirt but I’m totally using this next time someone asks. This question is a more polite way of asking someone if they used fertility treatments to conceive their twins. Before asking this question, I recommend getting to know the person a little better first.

As I said before, I know people mean well. We’ve all said silly things – without completely thinking things through – at one time or another. I know I have done it many times. Nobody’s perfect…

Got twins? What are some things you wish people knew about them? Don’t have twins but have a question you’ve been wanting to ask?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Twin Parenting, Twins

The Frogs Asking for a King; an Aesop’s Fable

March 22, 2011 | Leave a Comment

The Frogs petitioned Jupiter to appoint them a King to keep them organized and make them lead more honest lives.  Jupiter, who felt they needed no King, tried to appease them by casting down a huge log into the lake and declaring it their King.  The frogs, terrified by the splash the log made, hid themselves in the depths of the pool.  After a while, however, they noticed that their new ruler remained motionless, and they soon became brave enough to climb up and squat upon it.  After some time they began to think themselves ill served by the appointment of so tame a King, and they sent a second delegation to Jupiter, asking him to send another sovereign.  He then appointed an eel to govern them.  When the frogs discovered their second King’s easy good nature, they went a third time to Jupiter to beg that he choose a more suitable leader.  Jupiter displeased by their complaints, sent a heron, who devoured the frogs one by one.  The few who escaped asked Mercury to take a note to Jupiter asking for help; but Jupiter replied that they were being punished for their folly and that they should learn to leave well enough alone.

When you seek to change your condition, be sure you can better it!

The frogs ask for a king
Image from DiviantArt

How would you use this fable to teach your children?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Aesops Fables Tagged With: Aesop, Fables, The Frogs Asking for a King

St. Patrick’s Day Fun Facts

March 17, 2011 | 1 Comment

The shamrock is the symbol of Saint Patrick's Day
Image from Pixabay

St. Patrick’s Day is this Thursday — so I thought I would provide you with some interesting facts that you can use, to dazzle your friends and family. I assure you, they will be in awe of your vast St. Patrick’s Day knowledge!

I searched the web – far and wide – for what I thought were the most interesting and surprising facts about St. Patrick’s Day. So here they are:

Random Facts about St. Patrick’s Day

  • Shamrocks are the national flower of Ireland. St. Patrick used the Shamrock to explain the Holy Trinity; The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. The Four-leaf clover is used to represent; faith, hope, love, and luck.
  • The original color used to represent St. Patrick’s Day was blue — not green.
  • Each year – starting in 1962 – the Chicago River is dyed green in honor of St. Patrick’s day.
  • The original Guinness Brewery in Dublin had a 9,000 year lease. As noted on the Guinness website, “The 1759 lease is no longer valid as the Company purchased the lands outright many years ago.“
  • Corned beef is actually not the traditional Irish meal for St. Patrick’s Day. The Irish are far more likely to serve Bacon and Cabbage. Irish bacon was quite expensive so to save money Irish-Americans began using corned beef instead.
  • According to Irish folklore, when leprechauns aren’t hanging out at rainbows, hiding pots of gold, or granting wishes — they are shoe makers. That must be their day job. Hey — they’ve got to pay the bills too ya know!
  • Speaking of leprechauns, they were first described to be wearing red and gold — not green.
  • St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated on March 17th because he is believed to have died March 17th in the year 461 AD.

Have a Wonderful St. Patrick’s Day!

Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Holidays, Random Musings Tagged With: Ireland, Leprechaun, Shamrock, St. Patrick, St. Patrick's Day

Warning: When Explaining Things to Children; Think Before You Speak

March 11, 2011 | 4 Comments

When our betta fish dies, I had to explain it to my kids
Photo from DeviantArt

When our Betta fish – Nemo – died, I wasn’t really sure how to explain it to my then, 2 year old twins. While we were out, he had jumped from his bowl and plunged to his death. I was shocked and sad — but most of all I was afraid the boys would be inconsolable. They really loved that fish.

What to tell your children when a pet dies

They saw my shock (yes — I know it was a fish, but I love all my pets) and started to ask what happened to Nemo. The first thing I blurted out was, “Nemo must have gone home to visit his Mommy and Daddy.” At this point my husband looked at me and said something like, “Just tell them what happened.” I don’t like lying to my kids — but I felt like telling them the truth would steal some of their innocence. I knew he was right, so I had to retract my story, and tell them that Nemo had indeed died.

Of course, they didn’t know exactly what this meant so I said, “Nemo went to Heaven.” One of their grandfathers past away shortly after their 1st birthday.  We have always talked about their Papa being in Heaven with Jesus, so I knew they would sort of understand what I meant by that.

I remembered seeing a Cosby Show episode where Rudy’s goldfish died. The family gathered around the toilet, said some nice words and flushed it. That seemed like it might be a good idea. We took our sweet Nemo into the bathroom, said some nice words, told him good-bye and flushed him down the toilet. Before the lid even shut A. turned to me and said, “Can we get another Nemo?” That made me wonder why I had even bothered with my story in the first place. Lesson learned.

We did get another Betta, his name was James. Yes — I said was. He lived about a year and then passed away. I told the boys straight up what happened; he died, he’s in Heaven with Nemo and all of that. I flushed him on my own, since it seems as though I’m the only one in the family who cares when our fish die. In case you are wondering –  we did get a new Betta – his name is Firefish Sam.

All poop goes to heaven

So anyway — last summer I began potty training the boys. They were doing pretty well and N. was really getting the hang of pooping in the potty. One day – as I was emptying out his potty chair into the toilet – he turns to me and in all seriousness says “My poop go to Heaven with Nemo and James and Papa?”

Uh Oh! What had I done? Since that time, I have had to explain over and over that the toilet is not the gateway into Heaven. However, I’m not sure if they completely believe me.

It was funny. It totally caught me off guard. It made me realize just how important it is to think about what I am saying, before I attempt to explain things to the boys.

Oh – and when Firefish Sam dies – he’ll be buried; not flushed.

How have you explained death to your children?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Parenting, Pets, Random Musings Tagged With: Betta, Death, Goldfish, pets

Spring Fever is Hitting; Time to Plant Some Bulbs

March 10, 2011 | Leave a Comment

Tulip bulbs ready for planting in the spring
Photo from FreeFoto.com

Living in the northeast and having to deal with the cold and snow, spring is more than welcomed. The kids are getting antsy and this isn’t helping mom any! The boys want to ride their bikes and of course that is not going to happen on the ice and snow, so I needed a project. We are going to plant seeds and bulbs.

This project is not expensive at all and you will need the following:

  • Egg trays
  • Potting soil
  • Newspaper
  • Seeds or bulbs
  • Spoons

How to start seeds or bulbs in an egg carton

To start this project it is easier to get the potting soil moistened BEFORE the kids put it in the egg trays. I learned the hard way that the soil doesn’t always absorb the water and well it can be extremely messy.

Next you will want to lay down newspaper or something to protect where you and the kids are working. Then let them fill the egg “cups” with the soil. Usually about halfway up the eggcup is enough.

After this is done then you help them plant the seeds or bulbs and put them in a sunny location and watch for sprouts! The kids so enjoy doing this and I am a plant lover myself.

Make sure to keep the soil moistened but not flooded. When watering it is best to watch closely if the little ones are doing it so you do not end up with swimming seeds.

The potting soil does not need to be expensive nor do the seeds. A trip to the local “dollar store” will yield great rewards. I have bough the potting soil and seeds at the local dollar store and had great results.

After the seedlings are a good size and it is warm outside you can transplant into the ground. Not only do the kids enjoy this project it makes spring seem a little bit closer. Although KidsAin’tCheap they sure can be fun!

Have you ever started a garden with your kids?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Green Living, Stuff to Do Tagged With: bulbs, egg carton, gardening, projects, seeds, spring

Free-Range Parenting: Is it Too Scary to Consider?

March 9, 2011 | Leave a Comment

Free Range Kids by Lenore SkenazyHow would you feel about letting your child go to a neighborhood park to play on their own? Do you allow your children the freedom you had growing up? I think we would all like to do that – but realistically speaking – isn’t it too dangerous? Some people say — no. As I was doing research for my last post, I stumbled upon a few articles that included thoughts and opinions, on Free-Range parenting. I had heard about it, but didn’t know the specifics.

What I did know, was that columnist Lenore Skenazy, made the decision to let her 9 year old son navigate the New York City subway all on his own. This of course was after she made sure that he knew about the subway system and could read a map. Skenazy then wrote about it in the New York Sun. Some people – I’m going to guess there were quite a few – thought she was crazy and that she was taking a huge gamble with her child’s life. At first, I thought so too and it had a lot to do with something that happened last summer.

When a child wanders off

While the actual event only lasted a few minutes, it felt like an eternity. It terrified me and left me shaken for the rest of the day. I took the boys – who had just turned 3 – to a nice park on the other side of town. It’s one of our favorites, has wide open spaces, and a really fun playground.

When we got there I heard music. There was a man playing a guitar and singing. He was located in the covered picnic area, which is right next to the playground. Right away my “mom radar” went off. I told myself that I shouldn’t be so judgmental and I just needed to relax a little. I sort of did —  but I was careful to kept an eye on the guy and an even closer eye on the boys.

The boys were playing and having a great time. There weren’t too many people there, so they had free run of the place. A. had climbed a little too high for his comfort and asked me to come help him get down — so I did. When I turned around to look for N. he was no where to be seen. No where!

I tried not to panic. I kept one hand on A. and began calling for N. I looked all over.  I looked on slides, on the swings, in tunnels and nothing. Then I saw something that made my heart sink and almost brought me to tears. The man – the one playing the guitar – was gone too. Suddenly, every episode I had ever watched of America’s Most Wanted and Dateline NBC – relating to abducted children –  flooded my mind. I imagined that man had grabbed my son, and slipped away unnoticed.  I tried to stop thinking about it, but I couldn’t. Now —  I was frantically calling. A. began asking where N. was and started to call for him too.

All of a sudden, from around a corner, came my sweet- faced darling boy. I’m getting teary just reliving this again; that’s how much it frightened me. I grabbed N. and hugged him and thanked God that he was okay.

Free-range parenters believe risks over over-stated

So after that experience – and the panic and fear that I felt – how could I even think of (eventually) giving them the kind of freedom Skenazy advocates? Well, she and others like her, think that shows – like the ones I just mentioned – are what keep us over parenting our children. Skenazy also notes in her book Free-Range Kids: How to Rise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (without going nuts) that the occurrence of children who are abducted, is actually quite rare. Rare or not, I think I would be a nervous wreck if I allowed the boys – at age 9 – to ride their bikes to the library all on their own. Would they be fine? Probably, but what if they weren’t? I would never ever forgive myself if something happened to them.

I have been reading Skenazy’s blog and I really like it. I didn’t think I would. I thought I’d be outraged by everything she posted, and I’m just not. She is right that hovering and trying to remove all of the potential dangers and disappointments in life — isn’t doing anything for our kids. So what if they fall down and get scraped knees or a broken bone? It’s going to happen but they will heal and they might learn to be more careful next time.

Look — I spent my summers climbing trees and riding my bike around the neighborhood (often times doing dare-devil maneuvers like standing on the seat). Sure I fell, but I have some really fun childhood memories – and impressive scars – because I got to do that. I don’t think I would ever be able to allow the boys to navigate the subway system at age 9 but I’ll be reading Skenazy’s book. I’ll probably still feel the same about a lot of things, but it will definitely give me some food for thought. I certainly don’t want to take anything away from my kids, but their safety is my first concern! I think the book is worth a read! I’ll keep you posted 🙂

So what are your thoughts? Are you for or against Free-Range parenting?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Books and Magazines, Parenting, Safety Tagged With: Free-Range Parenting, Free-Ranke Kids, Skenazy

The Tortoise and the Eagle; an Aesop Fable

March 8, 2011 | Leave a Comment

A Tortoise, basking lazily in the sun, complained to the sea-birds how hard her life was because she could not fly.  An Eagle hovering nearby heard her grumbling and asked what reward she would give if he would take her aloft and float her in the air.  “I will give you,” the Tortoise said, ” all the riches of the Red Sea.” “Then I will teach you to fly,” said the Eagle; and, taking the Tortoise up in his claws he carried her almost to the clouds.  Suddenly he cried, “Now, then,” and ler her go, and the Tortoise fell onto a rock, smashing her shell to pieces.

Pride shall have a fall.

Eagle and the Tortoise

How would you use this fable to teach your children?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
Email • Google + • Facebook • Twitter

Filed Under: Aesops Fables Tagged With: Aesop, Fables, The Tortoise and the Eagle

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Basic Principles Of Good Parenting

Here some basic principles for good parenting:

  1. What You Do Matters: Your kids are watching you. So, be purposeful about what you want to accomplish.
  2. You Can’t be Too Loving: Don’t replace love with material possessions, lowered expectations or leniency.
  3. Be Involved Your Kids Life: Arrange your priorities to focus on what your kid’s needs. Be there mentally and physically.
  4. Adapt Your Parenting: Children grow quickly, so keep pace with your child’s development.
  5. Establish and Set Rules: The rules you set for children will establish the rules they set for themselves later.  Avoid harsh discipline and be consistent.
  6. Explain Your Decisions: What is obvious to you may not be evident to your child. They don’t have the experience you do.
  7. Be Respectful To Your Child: How you treat your child is how they will treat others.  Be polite, respectful and make an effort to pay attention.
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11 Ways Kids Are Outsmarting Parental Controls 1. Using Alternate Devices One common trick is simply turning to another device. If a child’s main phone or tablet is restricted, they may borrow a sibling’s, friend’s, or even a school laptop. This instantly gives them access to content outside of parental oversight. Parents often focus on one device, forgetting that others in the household can serve as loopholes. Knowing this tactic helps families tighten controls across all electronics. 2. Clearing Browsing Histories Many kids quickly learn that clearing browsing history hides evidence of restricted activity. With just a few clicks, they can erase any trace of websites visited. This makes it harder for parents to notice when rules are being broken. Parents may assume no history means no browsing, but the reality is often the opposite. Kids are outsmarting parental controls by making it seem like nothing happened at all. 3. Using Private Browsing Modes Most browsers offer “incognito” or private browsing features. Kids use this mode to access websites without leaving a record in the history. To parents checking later, everything looks clean and safe. This simple trick is often one of the first ways kids discover how to bypass restrictions. Conversations about private browsing can help close this gap. 4. Guessing or Resetting Passwords Children who are persistent may try to guess passwords to parental control apps or accounts. Others may find ways to reset them through email prompts or security questions. Once inside, they can disable restrictions entirely. Parents may not even realize controls have been altered until much later. Stronger, less predictable passwords can make this more difficult. 5. Using VPNs to Hide Activity Virtual private networks, or VPNs, let kids disguise their online locations. With one downloaded app, they can bypass geographic or parental restrictions. Some children learn about VPNs through friends or even social media. This makes it easy for them to reach content that should be blocked. Parents often underestimate just how simple it is for kids to use these tools. 6. Creating Fake Accounts When parents monitor social media, kids may create hidden accounts. These “finstas” or fake profiles allow them to interact freely without parental oversight. While their main account appears harmless, the secondary one tells a different story. Kids are outsmarting parental controls by playing both sides at once. Checking for duplicate accounts can help parents stay more aware. 7. Exploiting Time Zone Settings Some kids change the time zone on their devices to bypass screen time limits. This trick allows them to gain extra hours of usage undetected. Parents may assume controls are working, but in reality, the child is bending the clock. It’s a clever loophole that highlights just how resourceful kids can be. Monitoring device settings regularly can catch this tactic. 8. Disabling or Uninstalling Apps Parental control apps can be deleted or disabled with surprising ease. Some kids even reinstall them before a parent checks, making it seem like nothing changed. Others may simply restrict permissions to prevent apps from functioning properly. When apps aren’t monitored closely, parents may not notice they’ve been tampered with. This shows the importance of consistent follow-up. 9. Turning to Friends for Access If a child can’t get past restrictions on their own, they may rely on friends. Visiting a friend’s house or borrowing their phone can give them a free pass. Parents often forget that peer environments can override restrictions set at home. This kind of social workaround is especially common with gaming or social media. Open conversations about trust and responsibility are essential. 10. Hiding Apps in Plain Sight Kids sometimes download apps that look innocent but serve as gateways to hidden activity. These apps may disguise themselves as calculators or utilities. In reality, they allow file storage, private messaging, or browser access. Parents glancing at a home screen may overlook them entirely. Learning to recognize these disguised apps can help parents stay informed. 11. Outpacing Parents’ Tech Knowledge Finally, kids often know more about devices than their parents do. Whether through YouTube tutorials, TikTok hacks, or peer groups, they quickly learn advanced workarounds. This knowledge gap means controls can be bypassed before parents even realize the loophole exists. Staying informed and continually learning about new technology is the best defense. Kids are outsmarting parental controls because they adapt faster than most adults. The Real Solution Lies Beyond Restrictions While controls and filters are important, no system is perfect. Kids will always find creative ways around barriers, making communication the strongest safeguard. Setting clear expectations, building trust, and having ongoing conversations about online behavior matter more than apps alone. Parents who combine technology with open dialogue create a safer digital environment. The goal isn’t to win a battle of wits but to build a relationship that keeps kids both safe and honest. Do you think kids are outsmarting parental controls faster than parents can keep up? Share your experiences in the comments below. What to Read Next... 6 Parenting Tech Shortcuts That Can Expose Your Child to Strangers How Much Screen Time Is Too Much—Legally Speaking? Is Your Child’s School Quietly Tracking Their Location Without Your Consent? How Much Screen Time Is Quietly Reshaping Childhood Behavior? Why Some Parents Are Being Investigated Over Homeschooling Records

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