Kids Ain't Cheap

But They Sure Are Worth It

Archives for April 2011

Egg Carton Garden — Update

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Seedling in an egg cartonI promised you all an update on our egg carton seed planting project in a couple of weeks. Well, I am very happy to report that after a little over a week, our seeds are sprouting like crazy! I couldn’t wait for two weeks to update you, I had to do it ASAP — check it out!!!

Broccoli Sprouts (1 week 2 days)

The broccoli was the first to show it’s leafy head. There are a bunch of sprouts. These aren’t actually in egg carton containers though, they are in a plastic container that my husband filled with the seedling soil. He sprinkled the seeds in and now we have enough plants for the whole neighborhood. The cucumbers, green onions, and basil are also in that container and doing rather well.

Green Onions (1 week 2 days)

The bush beans and bush peas are doing excellent! In fact we’ll probably need to plant them in the ground – or our raised bed – this weekend. Over the past couple of days they have really take off. I think it’s safe to say that we are off to a great start!

Bush Beans and Bush Peas (1 week 2 days)

The only thing I’m worried about now is getting them into the ground. As I mentioned before, we really need to plant the beans and the peas soon. They are busting out of the egg cartons. Hopefully, the weather isn’t too wet and cool for them. I guess we’ll see…

Are you starting a garden this year? How are your seedlings doing?

Things to Consider Before Moving

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Uhaul truck for movingOk, so it’s been ages since my last post and with good reason.  I had been in the middle of moving to a new house and my goodness!  It was very difficult this time around.  The last time I moved was almost 2 years ago and it was decidedly easier then.  I am assuming this is because I really did everything from scratch by myself this time around as opposed to having help from my family the first time.

Anyway, from my previous post I recall mentioning that I was considering moving a ways away from when I used to live because I found the area nicer, aesthetically, and more peaceful.  Well, this is where it all went wrong.

So I spent a whole day in the area looking for possible houses and here started my spending. I needed to rent a van because I don’t own a car and this was expensive.  We viewed a total of 7 houses and only 2 were nice enough to consider.  The rent, at first, also seemed doable.

It was when I was staring at my spreadsheet and doing my budget projections did I realize that both houses were out of the question and not because of their rent but because of all the expenses that come with living in an area.  So, I have created a short list of ‘real considerations’ when thinking about moving.

1. Location

This is important because you do not consider transferring from where you are to somewhere worse. As much as possible, always make the move be to a better place.  This is where things become subjective because ‘better’ is different for everyone.  Some people think that the beauty of a neighborhood makes things better; some think it is in the neighbors themselves; some think it is the crime rate; some think it’s how urban or rural the area is. For me, it is about peace and safety.  In Manila, you can live in very quiet, private subdivisions but pay a whole lot, or live in vibrant, alive corners and not pay as much.  I wanted a happy middle.  Whatever your criterion is, make sure it is something substantial and something you really count as important to living.

2.  Cost of Living

This is really important and this is what ultimately made me change my mind when it came to the big move.  Cost of living is basically what you spend in actuality to make living in an area possible. So, this includes what you spend on groceries from your local supermarket, what you spend on cooking gas, what you spend on commute to work, what you spend on taxes, what you spend on schooling for your kids (I you have kids) or for yourself (if you are studying).  Where I live, private schools are still considered better than public schools and tuition fees for these schools vary so it is important to find one that will fit your budget and still fulfill all your desires for your child’s education.  This is all the more important in a single income household like mine.  While number 1 may be a positive, while you may think you have found the perfect house, this can fall apart if you find you ultimately cannot afford to live in that area.

3. Availability of Resources

Now, this is simple and can be connected to points 1 and 2.  Questions that may fall under this point are: How far is it to your place of work? How hard is the commute? How far is the nearest hospital? How far is the school? Is there a local market?  Are there 24/7 drug stores?  The list of questions can also change depending on what you term as resources and how important these resources are to you.

After looking at these three points, I was able to conclude that my first plan was a bad idea.  So, I changed course and did a new search and discover session for a house in the general vicinity of where I used to live but better.  This is how the move turned from a simple 2 week exercise to a whole month!  And we aren’t even finished because, even if we have moved, we haven’t completely set ourselves up to be a fully functioning, smooth running household.  But that is another post.

What are your considerations when moving?  Are they different from what I stated?

What Customer Service and Parenting Have in Common

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Customer service call centerI had the great pleasure of working in the fine jewelry industry, for almost 15 years. During that time, I learned a lot about what it takes to provide excellent customer service. It takes a lot of hard work, involves admitting when you are wrong, finding ways to resolve issues that seem insoluble and also being a really great listener. Providing exceptional customer service builds trust, loyalty, and positive relationships.

Today, I was trying to think about what I learned – during all of those years – from interacting with many different kinds of people, day in and day out. Then my thoughts turned to how I could (and hopefully do) put those skills to work in my daily life — especially as it relates to parenting.

Hmmmm…I wonder how my children would rate me on a customer satisfaction survey?

You may have heard of tiger parenting, free-range parenting and even helicopter parenting but I have just – this very moment actually – decided to develop a parenting program which I will call Customer Service Parenting!

I know…it does have a catchy ring to it!

Before I go any further, one thing we always hear as it relates to customer service is — “The customer is always right.” Fear not parents! While I certainly don’t believe kids are always wrong – they are still children and have a lot to learn. That being said, unbeknownst to them, my boys teach me things everyday about myself , the world and life — that I never knew before (or perhaps forgot about since becoming an adult).

I stumbled across the article, The Ten Commandments of Customer Service and decided that it provided the perfect customer service tips, to explain how great customer service and great parenting can go hand-in-hand. Let’s get started…

1. Know Who is Boss

Good news, YOU are the boss of your children. They need you to guide them, love them, care for them, set boundaries, and provide discipline when needed. That’s our job as parents. However, we must also keep in mind that just because we are in charge, and just because we are “the boss” — that doesn’t make us infallible.

2. Be a Good Listener

Being a good listener is an important aspect of parenting. I know I often have to remind myself to listen first and react second. I can’t tell you how many times I have misunderstood the intentions of the boys because I didn’t understand what they were saying, or what they were doing. I quickly realized if I had slowed down for a minute – looked them in the eyes – and asked them to explain what they were needing, it would have saved us all a lot of frustration. As in customer service — it is important to identify the needs of your children by asking the right questions, reading their their body language, listening to the tone of their voice and trying to imagine what they are feeling.

3. Identify and Anticipate Needs

The more time you take to really listen and understand your children; the easier it will be to identify and anticipate their needs in the future. As discussed in the Ten Commandments of Customer Service article, a customer’s needs are often times emotional rather than logical — and the same can be said for our children’s needs as well.

4. Make Customers Feel Important and Appreciated

Children who feel important and appreciated are more confident and develop a better sense of self. We must remember to tell our children everyday – several times a day – just how important they are to us. It is also essential that we recognize them for the things that they do — especially when they have the initiative to something with out being asked. Praising their good deeds and wise choices, makes them feel proud and encourages them to repeat the good behavior.

5. Help Customers Understand Your Systems

This is something I learned from watching Super Nanny. She says it’s important to let kids know what you expect from them and what behavior will not be tolerated. This is great because it gives children a general guideline of what is expected of them. If they don’t abide by the “house rules” they get in trouble but they will know why. I often find myself telling the boys not to do something – expecting them to know better – but sometimes they just don’t know. We have not set up house rules yet, but this is something we will be doing soon.

Last summer, bedtime for us became a huge battle. Our boys have always gone to bed very easily but for some reason, things just got really bad. I decided to take Super Nanny’s advice and listed out all of the things that we expected of them at bed time. We also implemented a reward chart and from the very first night it worked! It was incredible!!!

6. Appreciate the Power of “Yes”

This is something I need to work on. Sometimes, it’s just easier for me to say no to things the boys ask because I’m busy, or don’t want to clean up another mess. I am in no way saying to should give in to every whim, want, or whine. However, if we can stop and take a moment to think about what they are asking – and if it’s a reasonable request – you might decide a yes is best. Plus, don’t you just love to see their little faces light up when you say yes to something they really want to do?

7. Know How to Apologize

This is BIG! Parents do make mistakes. We most certainly do! It is very important that we own up to them and let our kids know it. This sometimes involves a heart-felt apology to the kiddos. They will appreciate it more than you know. It’s good for them to see that they aren’t the only ones who make mistakes, that nobody is perfect and that giving a sincere apology can really make a huge difference. It may not fix a broken vase but it can melt away anger and resentment.

8. Give more than Expected

This one is not about material things. This is about giving more of YOU — your time, attention and love. Children are only little for a very short time, why not take the extra five minutes to read them another book, or play catch a little longer, or let them have a little extra time at the park? The dishes can wait! We have those to do for the rest of our lives — but having little ones in the house goes by in a flash. Give you children more of your undivided attention and I promise you will never regret it!

9. Get Regular Feedback

Getting regular feedback from your kids can be a great way to keep communication open. This is especially important when you have older children. Find out what kids feel about the vibe in the house. Are the house rules fair and if not, why? What would they like you to do more or less of? Having a family meeting once a month to discuss these things can be really great for a family! Be sure to really listen to what they say, check in with them to make sure things are going well, and be open to constructive criticism as well.

10. Treat Employees Well

This has to do with you and your spouse. In this customer service parenting scenario you are both the employees. It is your responsibility to treat each other well, provide a united front, and stay connected. With all of the hustle and bustle of our daily life, it is easy to forget why we fell in love and had kids in the first place. We all need to make sure to compliment, love, support, and encourage each other as much as we possibly can. This essential to a blissful marriage and happy family life. Children who know that their parents love and respect each other feel much more secure. So please parents — don’t forget to take time for yourselves. Date nights are so good for you and they are FUN!

So, it seems pretty clear; if we provide our children with the best customer service we can — we will all be so much better for it! We all have room to improve, I’m going to start today!!!

How do you think your kids would rate YOU on a survey?

Garden Starts in an Egg Carton

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egg cartons make great garden starters

Photo by CAPL

In the post Spring Fever is Hitting; Time to Plant some Bulbs — I talked about the idea of using an egg carton to start bulbs. Well, I thought that was a fantastic idea and something the boys would really enjoy doing!

Every April, my husband and I start thinking about what we will be planting in our garden. We usually go to the store and buy seeds and starter kits. However, I’ve been trying to save egg cartons – since they always make for an easy and fun craft idea for the kids – so we had a few to spare, and decided to see if we could use them to start seeds sprouting.

Now — I’m not 100% sure this is going to work, since the starter kits we use are made of plastic but if can work for bulbs, it should work for seeds right? I guess you are going to have to check back to see if things are sprouting or not. I really hope they do, because the boys are so excited!!! We planted bush peas, bush beans, cucumbers, green onions, broccoli, and basil.

Getting started with planting seeds in egg cartons

We did buy seeding starter soil – which was a little more expensive than regular gardening soil – but I figured it might be work the extra $$. We let the boys spoon the soil into the egg cartons and they planted the peas and beans, since those seeds are big and easy for them to handle.

The boys added a little more soil after they put the seeds in, then they used a spray bottle to saturate the soil with warm water. After that, I loosely wrapped each carton in plastic wrap and put them in a warm spot. Now we just need to keep an eye on them, keep them wet and as soon as I see some little sprouts we’ll take them out for a little sunshine.

Check back in a couple of weeks to see what’s {hopefully} sprouting 🙂

Have you ever used egg cartons to start seeds indoors?

A Warning to Worms!!!

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Boys love worms!

Image by Soil-Net

Calling all worms.  You! Yes, you! You’d better listen up, if you know what’s good for you!

I really appreciate all the work you do underground. I know you are great for our garden, flowers, and yard. We’ve maintained a friendly relationship over the years — you do your thing, and in return I leave you alone and promise not to make fish food out of you.

But something has changed.

I am so so so sorry to have thrown a wrench in things. I didn’t mean to. You know my sons A. and N. right? Do you remember how things went down last year? If not, let me refresh your memory.

Boys love worms

My boys love worms! Yes, they love you, and think you are the greatest things ever. They ADORE your sliminess! They love the way your move and groove, and they think it’s super awesome that you live in dirt — but BEWARE! These angelic, sweet and well meaning little boys love you too much! Is there really such a thing as too much love? In the relationship between children and worms — I’m afraid so.

“Come here little bug (if you dare).”

Last year, they often went in search of your kind. They made you their outdoor pets. They put you on swings, and swung you until you thought you might puke. If that wasn’t bad enough, they would pick you up, put you in the front packs on their bikes, and take you for a ride. Sure, traveling and doing new things can be fun — I’m just not sure the same is true in worm world.

I did my best to find and rescue you. I saved hundreds – no thousands – of you, but I am afraid to report that there were some casualties. I’m also very sorry about Walter Worm. Yes, he was the one A. was holding when he suddenly declared, “Uh oh! I bwoke him.” — and the one shall become two. Good thing you guys can just keep on going after an accident like that….hahahahaha

Oh sorry — perhaps that wound is still a little too fresh…

Anyway, I thought you all might have learned your lesson – but as I was pulling weeds the other day – I found tons of you little squirmies all over the place! As I said, I really appreciate all your hard work, but I just can’t – in good conscience – let you guys work your little hearts out (do worms have hearts? I need to look that up) only to become play things for my children. I can protect you a little but I am only one Mom.

“I see you little worm. Do you want to be my new friend? I’ll hug you, and sqeeze you, and call you George”

So my message is — RUN, or slither, or whatever you do. Seek refuge in the neighbor’s yards, dig down as deep as you can go, just don’t let yourselves be found by my children, unless you want to be their new BFF!

On your way out, you might want to warn your friends the caterpillars and rolly pollys too. All the best to you and good luck! You’ll need it!

Do your kids like to play with worms?

Seeing The Emotional Side of Our Children

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Piglet

Photo by Soil-net.com

It has been a long week here. Hamilton the baby piglet has passed away due to a congenital problem. I received the phone call the other morning from my future son-in-law that something was wrong with “Hammy”. I jumped up and got dressed and my daughter was at work. We decided not to tell her right away because there was no need to upset her if it wasn’t serious.

The vet checked Hammy out and ran tests but sent us home to wait for the results. We told my daughter. Hammy was not getting better so we called the vet back and brought him back in. By the time he was rushed back the vet said to get him to Tufts Animal Hospital right away.

Death of a pet

To make a long story short I was home with my family and my daughter called me hysterical. Hamilton had passed away in her arms 15 minutes from the hospital. There was absolutely nothing I could do to help my daughter feel better. They went to the hospital because Kay had to know what happened and they told her it looked liked something he had been born with. They took Hammy home and asked if I wanted to be there for the burial. As you all know I helped raise him and I had to be there for the kids.

We are all still heartbroken. My daughter and her fiancé are still grieving. I received a phone call that night and this is exactly what was said to me, “Mom, I feel as though I have lost a baby and it shouldn’t hurt this bad.” My heart was so heavy and I was so frustrated because there was not ONE thing I could say to make her feel better.

Even her brothers ages 13 and 10 years were grieving. My 13-year-old son walked off on his own and just stared out at the river. He couldn’t deal with his sister and her fiancé actually crying. My 10-year-old son stayed close but I could tell he didn’t know what to do. He wanted so much to say something but had no clue what words to use.

When we left my daughters house and returned home we still needed to have dinner. My boys told me that they would give all of their money to K and C to help pay for the doctors for Hammy. My heart lurched again.

I have now learned that there are times when we will really have to watch our children hurt right from the core of their beings. And that there is nothing we can do to stop it but give them love and space.

Being a parent is so much work but seeing the love in my kids does make me so proud. RIP Hamilton, you will certainly always be in our hearts.

Have you ever experienced the death of a pet with children around?

The Lion, The Fox, And The Ass; an Aesop’s Fable

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The Lion, the Fox, and the Ass formed a party to go hunting.  After a successful hunt the three celebrated over a hearty meal.  The Lion asked the Ass to divide up the booty.  The Ass divided the proceeds into three equal parts and asked his friends to choose their portions.  The Lion, in great indignation, tore the Ass to pieces.  he then asked the Fox to divide the booty.  the Fox gathered almost everything into one pile, leaving only a tiny bit for himself.  “Oh, friend,” said the Lion, “who taught you to make so equitable a division?”

Happy is the man who learns from the misfortunes of others.

Lion & Fox Aesop's Fables

Image from Fotopedia

How would you use this fable to teach your children?

The Nitty Gritty of Cat Litter

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Sel-cleaning litter box with cat litterOkay, I know it’s not the most glamorous topic in the world, but it is important if you have a cat or are thinking of getting one. I adopted my very first cat less than 15 years ago. Before that time, I had decided that “I wasn’t a cat person.” I love all animals great and small but that doesn’t mean I want to own all of them.

Then – into my life – walked a cute little gray and white kitten, who I named Sadie. I was hooked. Two years later, I ended up adopting a precocious black kitten who I named Ozzie — aka The Million Dollar Cat. Now, I am a bona fide cat expert!

Well, maybe not quite but I do know a lot about cat litter. Not only have my cats tested just about every kind of cat litter there is — I also worked in the pet industry for two years. Because of this, what I lack in personal experience – I learned through the experiences of others.

How hard can it be to pick a cat littler anyway?

Here are some of the main types of cat litter. There is clay litter, clumping litter, corn, newspaper, pine, wheat, crystal, scented, unscented, natural (and not so natural), heavy and light weight. The main things people want to know are; which one lasts the longest, hides the odor and it the most eco-friendly? There are really so many things to consider. Who knew? I will explain some of the pros and cons of each and then reveal my MOST favorite cat littler in the whole world!!! 🙂

Clay Litter

Clay litter is probably the cheapest option, but it is heavy and doesn’t clump. This means it may need to have a complete litter change more often to prevent bacteria and odor. Clay litter may contain some chemicals to supress the odor. It also emits a lot of dust.

Found on Amazon.com

Clumping Litter

This can be made of any number of materials but essentually it clumps so it is easy to dispose of liquid waste. Most of these can help to supress odor and come in scented and unscented versions. The clumping clay litter still emits quite a bit of dust though.

Found on Amazon.com

Natural fiber litter

Corn, wood, newspaper, wheat, etc are biodigradable and most are natrual. You’ll have to check the pacakging. Some may be scented and some may contain chemicals for clumping purposes. I have used the corn, wood and newspaper varieties and the corn was my favorite for odor control. The pine litter I tried smelled great when I first put it in the box but it soaked up the liquid waste and got funky fast. Now, they offer a clumping version which I have not tried. I imagine it works much like the corn.

Found on Amazon.com

Crystal litter

Crystal litter has become popular in recent years. I have never tried it but people who have seem to like it. Many of them use it in their automatic litter boxes because it doesn’t get stuck in the tongs like some of the other litters can.

Found on Amazon.com

Scented or unscented?

This is up to you. Ozzie developed an allergy to one of the scented clumping litters I used when when he was a kitten. Sadie never had any problems but Ozzie’s paws got chapped and even started bleeding. It was horrible. That’s when I switched to an unscented version that the vet recommended. If your cat is prone to upper respiratory infections you should choose a low dust unscented cat litter.

Now for my VERY favorite cat litter! I absolutely adore this brand for many reasons…

Arm & Hammer Essentials Natural Clumping Litter

This wondrous litter is made using corn cobs and baking soda. It contains a light fresh scent which I love and luckily, Ozzie’s paws haven’t had an adverse reaction to it. I tried another corn litter before but the fine particles stuck to my cat’s paws leaving dusting cat prints all over the house.

If you have a cat I highly recommend this litter. They aren’t even paying me to say that — but they should!!! 🙂

Found Amazon.com

Of course, not all litters work for all cats and owners, if your cat is having issues using their litter box, it is best to consult the vet. Cats are really good about going in their boxes, so if they suddenly stop doing that — it may be the sign of a bigger issue.

TIP: When switching litters, it is best to mix a little of the new in with the old and slowly make the transition. Cats can be finicky and if you totally switch it might throw them off and they may refuse to use the box all together.

If you have any questions or suggestions of your own — I would love to hear them.

Do you have cats? Why type of litter do you use?