Kids Ain't Cheap

But They Sure Are Worth It

Archives for July 2013

Road Trips With a Young Child

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Road Trip with Young ChildThis week we will be embarking on our first real family vacation. We’ve been out on small trips to the cottage with our little one but this week we’re heading out on an 1,100 km road trip with her. Though my husband and I are both experienced travelers (everything from road-trips to international trips) having a baby with us will make traveling much different, I’m sure.

Knowing we would be trapped in the car for upwards of six hours in a day, I needed to get a plan in place or our lives may become miserable very quickly. These are things to consider when road-tripping with a little one.

 

Distractions are Crucial

Though she does well in a car for a short time, unless she falls asleep (and I’d rather not mess with her nap schedule too much) after about 15 mins we will be scrambling to entertain her. In our case, she is still rear facing in the back seat so I will be sitting back there with her which alone will be much better than her sitting alone. What to distract her with is where things can get interesting. She has little to no interest in traditional toys while in the car. The best way to distract her is to give her something she doesn’t normally get or has never seen before. Boring old toys won’t cut the trick. Here are a few things our little one like to play with and entertains her for quite some time:

  • Keys. I gathered three old keys we had, washed them (predicting them to go in her mouth) and placed them on a key ring.
  • Wallet. She loves to take my wallet apart so I found an old wallet and filled it with old cards and meaningless papers so in the event she loses them we’re fine.
  • New book. She usually enjoys looking at pictures in books, I specify new book since I know if it’s one she’s never seen before we will have more luck. I’ve purchased a book and won’t give it to her until the car ride starts.
  • Something with buttons. Kids love to push buttons. Remotes, cell phones, I don’t know what it is but she loves to push them. I have both an old remote and old (circa 1995) cell phone that she can do whatever she wants with.
  • DVD player. She doesn’t get to watch much, TV so the hope is that a little music or TV will keep her entertained for a bit.

 

Keep Routines the Best You Can

While driving, or any travel, this is a difficult task but we’re going to try our best to keep her eating and sleeping routines as close to normal. Thankfully we only have one time zone to cross and are breaking our long trip up by stopping overnight. Our plan is to stop every 2-2.5 hours to get out of the car, change her diaper and get a little fresh air. If my distractions work I should be able to keep her awake as well coax her into sleep when nap time comes.

 

Accept You Need Additional Time

Traveling with a little one is going to be much different from when it was just us. Though I feel like I have everything planned out, I full-well know she will be dictating this show and I’m ok with that. Our family knows and respects that we have a little one and she’s the star of the show, stuff comes up and we may take longer than expected to get there.

As long as she’s happy, we’re happy. Happy kid=Happy life.

Any tips for travelling with a little one?

How to Keep an Eye on Your Kids All the Time

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watchful momSomeone once said, “When you have a child, it’s like wearing your heart outside your body.”  Most parents can probably relate.  You’d likely do anything to keep your child safe.

While you may want to keep an eye on your kids all the time, realistically, you can’t.  Of course, there are some steps you take to protect your child such as checking your babysitter’s credentials and calling references.  You likely put sunscreen on your child if you’ll have him outdoors for an hour or more.

You take the precautions to protect your child outside the home, but do you take the proper precautions inside the home?

 

Keeping an Eye Inside the Home

Home is where we feel safest, but there is danger lurking.  Even the staircase can be dangerous if you or your child slips and falls.  To keep an eye on your child at all times and keep them protected, you’ll want to see all the quality safety equipment for around the home that is available.  You’ll be amazed. . .and reassured.

You can install a nanny cam to make sure your sitter is taking good care of your child.  What you will see will likely reassure you and help you feel even more confident in your sitter, but if something is amiss, you can take the proper steps immediately.

 

Remember Key Safety Features

However, there are other things you should consider.  Do you have a smoke detector on each floor of the home?  Ideally, you might want at least two per floor, depending on the size of your home.

What about a fire extinguisher?  There should be one within easy reach of the stove in case a fire starts there.

Some people feel safer with a home security system to protect them while they sleep at night.    Use a trusted supplier such as PureSafety who can help you make your home as safe as possible for your family.

You’ll never be able to remove every danger that may face your child, just as you won’t be able to keep an eye on him 24/7, no matter how much you want to.  However, you can take the proper precautions to make him as safe as possible inside the home and out.  As parents, that’s our job, and one most of us will gladly do.

What other safety precautions do you take?

How to Regulate the Amount You Spend on Your Kids…Because Kids Ain’t Cheap

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regulate kids spendingWe all know, kids ain’t cheap.  When you stare into your little bundle of joy’s face for the first time, you likely only feel amazement and awe.  You watch your child grow and develop and meet major milestones.  You delight in his first smile, laugh, and coo.

But then, you start noticing the expenses.  The diapers.  The formula.  The childcare.

It’s a good thing your baby’s so cute because he’s starting to cost you –big time.

Sound familiar?

First time parents are often shocked at how much an infant costs.  Guess what, folks–it doesn’t get any cheaper as they get older.  If you want to still be able to save money for your own retirement, make sure you regulate how much you spend on your kids!  The sooner you get a good plan together on how much you spend, the easier it will be later on when they are teenagers and asking for their own money to spend!

 

1. Remember, You Come First

Save for your own future first.  Sure, you want to give Junior everything, but save for your own retirement first.  You’re not being selfish.  Trust me, when Junior is 25, he’ll be glad he doesn’t need to help support mom and dad.  Plus, your kid can get student loans and other help to pay for expenses, but you can’t get a loan to fund your retirement.

 

2. An Emergency Fund is Essential

Keep a rainy day fund.  In addition to retirement savings, make sure to keep a rainy day fund.  You might want to look online for the best fixed rate bonds for some of the money that you’re setting aside for long-term goals.  For an emergency fund, you’ll want to have the money easily accessible.

 

3. Budget for the Big Stuff

Decide how much you’ll pay for major events.  While Junior’s still in diapers, long before he needs thousands of dollars for college, decide how much you’ll pay.  Maybe you want to pick up the whole tab for college.  Great.  You’ll need to plan accordingly.  Maybe you don’t want to pay anything; in that case you’ll need to let Junior know early so he can make his own college plans in high school, including how to pay.

 

4. Teach Your Child About Money

Teach your child to be financially independent.  The best way to regulate the amount of money you spend on your child is to teach him to be good with his money.  When he’s a teen or young adult, have him open a bank account.  Places like http://www.bmsavings.co.uk have some fantastic savings options.

With a little discipline and financially sound decisions, you can avoid bankruptcy while raising your child AND teach him how to be financially independent as he grows up.

How else can you regulate the amount you spend on your kids?

What I Miss About Pre-Kid Days

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pre-kid memoriesI hope this post isn’t misinterpreted. I love having a child. I wanted to be a mother more than anything in the world and it’s the best ”job” I’ve ever had. She challenges me in ways I didn’t know existed and has totally completed me. Call it cheesy but it’s the truth.

In spite of everything I adore about being a mom, there are a few things I truly miss about my pre-mom days. Things that  I have accepted will be a long time before I experience again.

 

Using the Bathroom

People tried to warn me to enjoy my bathroom time while I could and now I totally understand. If my husband is home, I’m sometimes fortunate enough to pee by myself but even that’s no guarantee. Unless I wake before kiddo in the morning, which is a rarity since she’s an earlier riser just like momma, I shower with an audience on a near daily basis. Having a child totally strips you of all privacy.

 

Enjoying Food

In the early days of motherhood, eating was an Olympic event. I would prepare and eat my food as fast as humanly possible. Choking was an afterthought. This was if I remembered to eat at all. Nowadays I have a little more freedom since she’s slightly more independent, but she has a vested interest in everything that enters my mouth. Even if it’s the same food on her plate, or something I know she will hate, she still only wants to eat Mommy’s food. This can make mealtime a bit of an event in its own. Unless she’s asleep, or I’m at work, rarely do I truly get to enjoy my meal.

 

Freedom

Gone are the days that I can plan to do what I want, when I want. Though we still do all the things we love, it now revolves around nap time, meals and bedtime. Having a schedule for her is imperative. This is no revolution on my behalf, I knew this was going to be the case as soon as she was born but I do miss the ease of my former schedule and the ability to get things done. I’d be lying if I said I wish I didn’t have to think about packing an additional 74505 things for our family vacation, it’s time-consuming and a lot of effort. 

Though there are things I miss about my life before motherhood. I wouldn’t change any of it. Sure I can’t eat all my meals alone and have to think about her schedule for the next 18 or so years, I love it. I love the sticky hand prints all over my coffee table, the knocks on the door when I’m trying to use the washroom and the true love she has for us.

Children are the most honest and loving creatures out there. The love and appreciation she shows us everyday continues to blow my mind. I love being a mom more than anything in the world, even peeing alone.

What do you miss from your pre-kid days?

My Wife’s Pregnant – Now What?

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wife's pregnantCongratulations!  You’re having a baby!  Holy shit!  You’re having a baby!

Even if you’ve been trying for a long time, getting a positive pregnancy test is a huge deal!  It mean’s your wife is pregnant.  You’re excited.  You’re nervous.  You really have no fucking idea what to expect!  That’s great and exciting.  You’re in for a wild ride.

Here’s the next steps on what to do once you find out your wife’s pregnant, and what you can expect as a husband or partner.

 

Is This For Real?

Your first instinct may be to dismiss the positive pregnancy test for a bit.  Guess what – there’s really no point.  In fact, these test are 99.9% accurate, especially if it has been a few weeks since your wife’s missed period.  These tests are over 90% accurate even before she was supposed to have her period.  The bottom line is that if you took a home pregnancy test and it was positive, you’re pregnant.

The big if is this – the test simply detects the hormone her body emits when there is a fertilized egg.  Her body starts producing it very early on, and there is still a chance it won’t be a viable pregnancy.  That’s why you still need to go to the doctor to confirm.

 

Setting Up a Dr. Appt

Once you get a positive pregnancy test, you should setup a doctor appointment between 6 and 8 weeks (or 2 to 4 weeks after her missed period). During this time, the doctor will do a trans-vaginal ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy (yes, that is an ultrasound where they stick the wand up the ho-ha).  The cool thing is that this will be the first glimpse you’re going to get of your baby!

It’s going to look like 6th grade biology – a little round circle of a cell, that has a little flutter in the middle – your baby’s heartbeat.

However, this appointment may not be all good news.  Many early detected pregnancies are not viable – upwards of 33%.  In many cases, you’ll never know – it ends like a regular period even though the egg was fertilized.  However, some can go longer, and you may make it to this point.  That’s why confirming the baby is essential when moving forward.

 

Telling Your Family

For all the reasons above, the standard for telling people you’re pregnant is 12 weeks.  Once you get past the 12 week mark, the odds of having a miscarriage are extremely low – so it’s safe to let people know.  It’s also the time when you can be a little less worried about whether everything is okay, and start worrying about what you’re going to do when you have a little one in a few months.

 

Be Supportive

You just need to be supportive during the whole process.  Your wife’s body is going to be taken over by the little guy or girl, and hormones are running wild.  You’re in for a wild ride, and you’re going to be surprised by it all.  Just be there, as best you can.

 

Be Prepared

Finally, you just need to have a basic level of education about pregnancy and child rearing. Pregnancy is a time of extreme change and its going to impact both your current relationship and your future with your partner.  The best thing to do is pick up a copy of Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care. Its a classic that’s had something like nine revisions in the past 60 years, and its sold millions of copies. Get it in paper back on amazon for like $6 bucks.

For help on what to teach your children as they grow check out these articles.

Raising Polite, Responsible Kids
Raising Money Smart Kids
Raising A Child On A Budget: How To Save Money And Be A Happy Family

If you’ve been through this with your wife or husband, what advice do you have?

The Importance of Date Night

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Importance of Date NightBefore I had a child, I never put much thought into date nights with hubby, they always just had a way of happening. They were never fancy but since we didn’t have a child to tend to, we had a lot of time for each other. I remember my aunt telling me at my baby shower to make sure I paid attention to myself and my relationship with my husband or it may dwindle away. She was right. Not that the relationship with my husband is going away but it has certainly changed. It is so important that we remind each other what our relationship was like before having kids.

Our daughter is the center of our universe. 99% of our conversations are about her or our family. If the conversations aren’t about her, they’re about our budget, schedule, work, nothing exciting. Five years ago this wasn’t the case. Five years ago we were planning our life and dreams out. We were connecting in different ways. While I expect our relationship to grow and change as it evolves, it’s still important to remember, and pay respect to, the foundations that brought us together.

 

Date Night Doesn’t Have to be Expensive

I remember one of our first ”fancy” dates. Shortly after we graduated high school, hubby was working his way through university and was getting his first real paycheques. He took me to a nice reservation-only steak house. I was having heart palpitations the whole time, not at the experience but at what I knew it was going to cost him! Though the food and service was great, I simply cannot justify spending hard-earned money in that way (fancy restaurants). When he asked for my honest opinion about the evening I told him, and boy, was he relieved! He wouldn’t be going to the poor house to woo me! I was an easy-going girl who wanted time, not monetary filled experiences.

Date nights for a couple with children should be about reconnecting with each other, not spending money; enjoying real time together, remembering what attracted you to each other in the first place, and perhaps re-kindling that initial spark with some TruePheromones.com products! Here are just a few date night ideas that can be done on the cheap:

  • Evening picnic with favorite foods/wine (or daytime if it’s the only time you can get away!)
  • A coffee date. Save your money, don’t bother on a full meal and enjoy a good cup of coffee/tea/hot beverage and talk about anything and everything but kids.
  • Walk/hike/bike ride. Getting exercise and being together is an easy way to make sure you’re together yet not distracted by cell phones/computers etc.

More marriages end up in divorce than not. I know my husband loves our daughter more than anything but we set time aside for each other. This summer we’re taking out first real vacation in a long time and I plan on getting a baby sitter one evening so we can have an evening out. Shhh. Don’t tell my husband 😉

It is impossibly easy to fall in love, yet impossibly hard to stay in love. Don’t be a statistic, this is your reminder to make time for your each other. A better relationship with each other will ensure you are better parents.

How do you make time for each other?  Do you have date night?

Changes at Kids Ain’t Cheap

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Hey everyone!

I just wanted to let you know that I would be picking up the pace here on Kids Ain’t Cheap.

Earlier this year, you know I purchased this site to continue the belief that, while kids aren’t cheap, they are totally worth it.  As part of my journey to parenthood, I was going to write a bit about what’s happening in my life.

Well, easier said than done with all that’s going on in my online and offline life.  However, I’ve finally sat down and written an editorial calendar for the site, so you should start seeing some new, personal content.

With the baby due any day now, there should be some fun stuff coming soon.

Being an Engaged Parent

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Engaged ParentBeing a mom is easily the hardest thing I have ever, and will ever, do in my life. Being responsible for someone else’s well-being is a stressful job. There is no job in the world that gives so much stress and so much reward at the same time. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Trying to be the best parent I can isn’t always easy. In today’s world of fancy technology and constantly being surrounded by something it’s easy to lose focus.

 

Lesson From The Dental Office

Today, it’s not uncommon to have both parents working full-time. This isn’t the world that our grandparents grew up in where it was more common to have mom at home tending to all of the family’s needs.

Last week at work I had a young mom bring her son in. As soon as the little boy was sitting in the dental chair, mom was in the corner sitting in a chair frantically typing away on her phone, totally disengaged from her son’s dental appointment. When it became clear to me, evident by the rampant decay in his mouth, that mom was not brushing his teeth as he needed, I alerted mom. I asked her how he was managing with tooth brushing and how often she was doing it for him given that he was only four. She told me, and I quote:

”As you can tell, I’m a very busy woman, I don’t have time to brush his teeth, he’s four, he can do it himself…his sister had soft teeth too, it’s not my fault they’re rotten”

Yup. This is what she actually said to me. This woman’s life is too busy to brush her four-year-old’s teeth. I was so mad at her I couldn’t help myself and I responded:

”If you don’t have time to do something simple like brush his teeth, what do you have time for in his life?”

She was so taken aback by me saying anything she just stared at me, saying nothing.

She put her phone in her purse came over to he son and asked me to show her how to properly brush his teeth. I was so happy she decided to become engaged in his appointment and learn from her mistake.

 

Engaged Parenting

I see this sort of thing every day. Parents seem to be so far removed from what’s going on in their children’s lives it scares me. As a parent we have a responsibility to be engaged in our child’s life.  This means paying attention to them when they need it, playing with them without our faces in our phones and putting effort into understanding what’s going on in their life, everything from Facebook accounts to general hobbies. Though I value a child’s privacy, we as parents should still have a good understanding of everything that’s going on in their lives, while still respecting privacy boundaries.

How do you balance engaged parenting while respecting boundaries?