My husband and I were lucky in the sense that we didn’t get much slack from our family and friends about when the baby was coming as soon as we were married. We managed to enjoy each other’s company for three years before baby was born and we had a lot of baby-free fun. It is my opinion that, when possible, it is important that a couple to really get to know each other before welcoming someone else into the family.
In our three years pre-kid we got our house in order and had fun with friends and family, partaking on a few vacations that would otherwise be difficult with a child. Until we had our daughter we didn’t know just how empty our lives were.
Having our daughter was the best thing that ever happened to, not just my husband and I, but for our entire family. We were still healing the wounds from a very difficult year and she light our world up. She was proof that good things can and do happen in this world. I really don’t think there is a perfect time for a child but sometimes things have a way of working themselves out to seem so.
Though she was very much planned we weren’t prepared entirely. We were overwhelmed with how little we were prepared but in the end managed to scramble though my challenging pregnancy and follow-up maternity leave. When it comes time to have number two, how will we know when we’re ready?
There is nothing wrong with only having one child (there’s also absolutely nothing wrong with electing to have no children) and for the first 18 months of our daughter’s life we thought we may be done. We loved our little trio and didn’t want to disrupt our routines. We slowly came to the realization that we would in fact, eventually, try for another. Our sisters are our best friends and if we can provide that relationship for our daughter that would make us happy, but when, and how, will we know when it is the best time to add to our family?
We are comfortable with our current expenses. I can tell you we would not be comfortable increasing our daycare budget by much though. Until our debt is paid off by a significant amount, if not entirely, we will not be able to comfortably afford another child. If we have a son, we will also need to provide some things our daughter didn’t have, like a new wardrobe. Though I’m fine with a potential son playing with his sister’s toys, I draw the line at wearing dresses. We also need to be prepared for me potentially being put off work early again. Beefing up our emergency fund will be necessary.
I would be really upset if I got pregnant right now. Though I am healthy by definition, until I lose at least 15 more pounds I wouldn’t be comfortable going through another pregnancy.
Prepping our first-born for the potential arrival of a sibling will take time. Even though we’re years from having a second child (two to three) we’ve already started asking her if she’d like a sibling. Planting the seed that there very well may be a new baby in the future. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming and you do have nine months of pregnancy to also introduce the child to upcoming change.
There is no perfect time for a child. There will always be that thing on your list that seems more important but that doesn’t mean you can’t be as prepared as possible for if and when it does happen.