When you have a child, everyone tries to give you parenting tips, including your own parents. But some parenting tips can do more harm than good, even if past generations swear by them. From the “one bite” rule to the “cry it out” method, here are 5 pieces of conventional parenting wisdom you should probably ignore and avoid.
5 Parenting Tips With Potentially Negative Consequences
1. Clean Plate Club
Sometimes kids refuse to eat what you’ve prepared or say they’re done after a few bites. This situation can be hard to navigate because you want to ensure they’re getting proper nutrition. Some conventional wisdom suggests that you should make your child sit at the table until they’ve cleaned their plate. Other parents withhold dessert until their child finishes the main meal. But both of these strategies can have negative consequences on their eating habits, especially if they’re refusing to eat because they’re already full.
Kids have natural hunger and fullness cues that they’re intuitively in touch with. Their appetite levels can fluctuate depending on a variety of factors, including their current rate of growth and the things they did and ate throughout the day. This can be confusing for parents because children may not want the same amount of food for dinner tonight as they did yesterday. But trying to get your child to eat past the point of fullness isn’t the answer. If you put too much on their plate, the best solution is to put it in the fridge and save it for later or tomorrow.
2. The “One Bite” Rule
One of the most common food-related parenting tips is the “one bite” rule. Parents have been advised to make their kids eat at least one forkful of new foods. However, experts say that forcing kids to eat foods they don’t like can create negative associations with that ingredient or even cause gagging.
If your child refusing to eat what you’ve made is a consistent problem, try getting them involved in meal planning and preparation to give them a sense of agency. They may be more comfortable trying recipes they helped choose and cook.
3. Kids Should Be Seen and Not Heard
One of the most common parenting tips we’ve all heard is that children should be seen and not heard. But encouraging your child to be quiet, meek, and obedient above all else can stifle their communication skills. Kids need to engage in conversations and ask questions to support healthy intellectual growth. It’s important to teach them to be respectful and avoid interrupting others. However, parents shouldn’t discourage them from sharing their opinions or expressing themselves in age-appropriate ways.
4. The “Cry It Out” Method
Because bedtime is challenging for many kids, there are lots of parenting tips related to sleeping. One of them is the “cry it out” sleep training method. Some believe that babies need to cry themselves to sleep to learn how to self-soothe. However, Psychology Today reports that this is one of the parenting tips you should avoid because it causes excessive stress.
Babies who are left to cry it out become dysregulated, causing their bodies to release stress hormones. This could potentially have negative consequences on their brain development and ability to regulate their emotions in the future. Meeting your child’s needs when they cry helps strengthen your relationship and build trust between you. Although some parents worry this could create dependence, it actually creates a strong emotional foundation that enables them to be more confident and independent in the future.
5. All Praise Is Good
Experts say that too much praise, especially if you’re giving the wrong type of compliments, can actually harm your child’s development. Studies have shown that kids who receive too much praise are more cautious and afraid to make mistakes. Praising your child for their results or intelligence instead of their effort can also make them afraid to fail. Telling them that they’re naturally talented can make them feel like there’s a set standard they have to live up to. Praising them for their hard work instead can encourage them to keep being persistent in pursuit of their goals.
Which parenting tips do you think do more harm than good? Let us know in the comments!
Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance writer who enjoys learning about and discussing the psychology of money. In her free time, she loves to cook and tackle DIY projects.
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