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When It’s Time to Pause.

February 14, 2011 | Leave a Comment

Rosie the Riviter as a single mom

Image by WILPF

It has been an extremely tiring week.  I had to work for 12 straight, full days so I am exhausted. And, as all parents know, work does not really stop when you leave the office.  There are tons still to do at home, albeit more enjoyable, with the family.  I hope and pray that I’ve been patient and understanding these past few days and that I have been an agreeable mom.  I hope that I have done better catching up at home than I have with all my other tasks.

I bumped into these two poems online and thought they were inspirational.  Well, they made me feel a bit better.  Here the are:

Ode to a Single Mom by Tamara Sue Appleman

She’s fixer of sinks and drier of tears; Anxious, yet valiant allayer of fears.
She works a full day Commutes home, and then she works another full-time job, again.

She’s master accountant. And counselor, too. She sets aside worries to listen to you.

There’s laundry and cooking and cleaning to do. Homework, then bathtime A story or two.

She’s finder of toys. And righter of wrongs. She’s busy. She’s tired. She’s lonely. She’s strong.

When the day is done, The kids safely in bed, No energy’s left for the thoughts in her head.

She turns them all off along with the lights. Crawls under covers – Gives in to the night.

Before the rise of the sun. She be up and back to it. There’s no other option. No one else to do it.

If you, too, know this woman (she goes by many names), Applaud her, she belongs to no ascribed hall of fame.

But a tacit sisterhood, Arduous like no other, Of extraordinary women. Also know as Single Mothers.

And another one by an anonymous author:

This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Meyer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, “It’s OK honey, Mommy’s here.” when they keep crying and won’t stop.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON’T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they’ll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for all the mothers who froze their buns off on metal bleachers at football or soccer games Friday night instead of watching from cars, so that when their kids asked, “Did you see me?” they could say, “Of course, I wouldn’t have missed it for the World,” and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet like a tired 2-year old who wants ice cream before dinner.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn’t. For all the mothers who read “Goodnight, Moon” twice a night for a year. And then read it again. “Just one more time.”

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead. This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls ” Mom ?” in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they’d be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can’t find the words to reach them. For all the mothers who bite their lips sometimes until they bleed–when their 14 -year olds dye their hair green.

What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?

The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?

The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying? For all the mothers of the victims of all these school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the Survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for mothers who put pinwheels and teddy bears on their children’s graves. This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation. And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers. Mothers with money, Mothers without.

…being a mom is tough but it is something I would never change.

I will be better next week.

Where do you find inspiration when you are felling down?

 

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Books and Reading, Parenting, Random Musings Tagged With: Ode to a Single Mom, Poems, Single Mom, Tamara Sue Appleman

The Force is Strong with this One; My Favorite Superbowl Commercial

February 8, 2011 | 2 Comments

I loved this commercial, it was by far my favorite commercial (with the new Captain America trailer being a very close second) that aired last night at the Super Bowl. I am a proud geek and love the things I love. Star Wars is one of those things and I thought this commercial was very cute.

What was your favorite Super Bowl commercial?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Random Musings Tagged With: Commercial, Star Wars, Superbowl

Why Dogs Make Horrible Babysitters

January 29, 2011 | 2 Comments

Don't trust this dog to babysit your kids!

Image on DeviantArt

First of all – I would just like to say – that I do not suggest using your dog as a babysitter while you and your spouse go out for a “date night.” If you would like to go and have a pedicure do not leave your dog in charge of the children. It is not even acceptable to leave your kids with the dog while you run to the store really quick. I know this and would never do such a thing because of course — it is illegal! Besides that, dogs are just no good at changing diapers, getting kids to eat their vegetables, or putting children to bed at a descent hour.

What I am talking about instead, are those times when I just needed to leave the room for a moment and thought, “The babies are in their exercisers and the dog is watching them; how much trouble can they really get into?” Oh boy, let me tell you; things can get ugly fast.

Leaving the dogs in charge

One example of this is happened, when I left my dog in charge of the boys, they were about 18 months old — (Yes, I realize how crazy that sounds.) They were in their high chairs, happily eating some cottage cheese – one of their favorite things to eat at the time – they were using their spoons, and everything! It was an idyllic scene; something straight out of a Norman Rockwell calendar.

I had been cleaning, and decided to run the garbage outside really quick. I would be right back and it would take 30 seconds tops!  So there were my sweet little boys and my sweet doggie. I told the dog, “You’re in charge. Mommy will be right back.”

Huge mistake! HUGE!

When I walked back in, it looked like someone had turned on a snow machine as soon as I shut the door – and apparently – they had. The boys were covered in cottage cheese, the dog was covered in cottage cheese, and the kitchen was covered in cottage cheese. Yes – that’s right folks, the kitchen I had just cleaned was now totally cheesy.

The boys were laughing and flinging cheese in the air like it was confetti — and what was my sweet, responsible dog doing you might ask? She was licking the cheese off of everything, as fast as she could.

Since that day, I am totally convinced that dogs and children can communicate! I’m pretty sure the conversation that my dog had with the boys that day, went something like this.

The dog: “Hey, boys! You know what would be really fun?”

The boys: “What?”

The dog: “Wouldn’t it be great to throw the cottage cheese in the air like it’s snowing? That would be really fun and totally hilarious! I bet Mommy will think it’s hilarious too! Do you boys want to do that?”

The boys: “Yeah!”

The dog: “Aren’t I the best babysitter ever?”

The boys: “Yeah!”

When I posted a warning to others via my Facebook page “FYI — Dogs do not make good babysitters” the only thing people wanted to know, was if I had pictures. Pictures? Are you kidding me?

Of course, now I wish I had taken the time to take pictures but all I could think about then was cleaning everything up – that was spotless – only minutes before.

So if you are thinking about leaving your dog in charge of the kids – learn from my mistakes and don’t do it!

Do you have any funny stories like this?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Home and Living, Pets, Random Musings Tagged With: Babysitters, Cleaning, Cottage Cheese, dogs, Funny Stories

Some Thoughts on Life’s Lessons

January 16, 2011 | Leave a Comment

Maybe she should encourage more books and less technologyI have to say, this first month of 2011 has been a busy one.  There just seems to be a never-ending string of things to do!  It is amazing.  But, I am not complaining.  I like being busy and, while single parenthood is never boring, it is a different feeling to be busy in the workplace and doing things outside motherhood.  That said though, I find it funny how I am constantly reminded of things that are kid-related.  Let me elucidate.

I grew up in a relatively comfortable home.  I was educated well and I was able to travel to a few places around the world and experience different cultures and meet all kinds of people. As a result, I like to think that I have maybe an additional perspective on some things compared to others who have not had the chance to experience the same things. Don’t get me wrong.  I am in no way belittling anyone or making myself bigger than who I am. I am simply saying that I believe I have a wider take on things having had a bit more experience compared to how I think I might have viewed things had my circumstances been otherwise.

Because of that, I try my best to apply what I’ve seen to how I raise my kids.  I want them to be open-minded and exploratory. I want them to question and come up with their own answers and be independent.  I want them to judge and treat people well and not to be so fixated on material things.  I want them to be comfortable but to understand the values of patience and hard-work and not to take anything for granted. So, I try to guide them and introduce them to as much as I can and think they should be exposed to at their age, that I feel would help them develop this way. I want to give them the same chance to experience what I did growing up but I also want them to have some simple roots.  I grew up in a much slower time after all and back then it was easier to sit back and see things move without getting a migraine.  I have come to observe though how tough this considering what they are surrounded with today.

Do we really need all this technology?

There is so much to do, so much to see, so much you are told you should want and have that it is easy to lose track of simple things that cost you a fraction of the cost of what is suggested and adds character, develops the mind and body, and teaches the child lessons that no amount of money can buy.

Today is the age of the Internet and computers and all these high tech toys that are so attractive and do so many interesting things that it is easy to believe that you just absolutely need one and that you cannot live without one and be up-to-date.  Well, I have nothing against computers and games.  I actually find that a lot of the games tackle history and music very well.  And, c’mon, I have blogs! But I really think there is something about books, and outdoor play, and arts and crafts for children that technology cannot teach.And this is the experience of the activity for itself, not pixelized or in HD or from a flat screen TV.  I hope I will be able to properly explain what I mean. Let me try through a couple of examples.

OK, call me old-fashioned. I read somewhere that babies born this year might be reading from e-books and that speciality bookstores might be extinct in 10 years or so. Well, I think that is just sad.  While you can practice your imagination reading off a tablet as well as the page, the beauty of the printed word, the smell of a book, the feel of a genuine and hand-crafted cover is something that adds dimension to your creative experience and adds something to your appreciation of the story and the story teller. It’s just something that would be lost reading from a tablet.  I understand how games today are supposedly designed to add dexterity and to improve fine motor skills but how about all of us folks who became dexterous without the latest Wii game? I think we did really well and had the added benefit of healthy lungs, fit bodies, and a joy of sports and activity that I think is lacking today. And how about appreciation of nature, and smelling how fresh the air can be in a park, or watching the sun rise or set and feeling the droplets of rain on your face, all during outdoor activities.  Who can say that those experiences are not treasured memories that give that special glow to an otherwise sepia image of your childhood?

The point here is that I am reminded everyday, during those pleasurable times when I am busy, how great it is to be busy and how great it is to know what it means to also be simple as well.  And this is something I want for my kids too. Yes, I want them to be modern but I also want them to be unassuming and appreciative of things that they might overlook surrounded by technology.  I think this is important in creating open-minded, independent, discerning, and balanced individuals.

Do you embrace technology for your children or try to promote older activities?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
Email • Google + • Facebook • Twitter

Filed Under: Green Living, Healthy Living & Eating, Random Musings Tagged With: Activity, Books, Life's Lessons, Technology

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