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Kids Ain't Cheap

But They Sure Are Worth It

How Do You Know When You’re Ready For Baby Number Two?

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having a second childMy husband and I were lucky in the sense that we didn’t get much slack from our family and friends about when the baby was coming as soon as we were married. We managed to enjoy each other’s company for three years before baby was born and we had a lot of baby-free fun. It is my opinion that, when possible, it is important that a couple to really get to know each other before welcoming someone else into the family.

In our three years pre-kid we got our house in order and had fun with friends and family, partaking on a few vacations that would otherwise be difficult with a child. Until we had our daughter we didn’t know just how empty our lives were.

Having our daughter was the best thing that ever happened to, not just my husband and I, but for our entire family. We were still healing the wounds from a very difficult year and she light our world up. She was proof that good things can and do happen in this world. I really don’t think there is a perfect time for a child but sometimes things have a way of working themselves out to seem so.

Though she was very much planned we weren’t prepared entirely. We were overwhelmed with how little we were prepared but in the end managed to scramble though my challenging pregnancy and follow-up maternity leave. When it comes time to have number two, how will we know when we’re ready?

There is nothing wrong with only having one child (there’s also absolutely nothing wrong with electing to have no children) and for the first 18 months of our daughter’s life we thought we may be done. We loved our little trio and didn’t want to disrupt our routines. We slowly came to the realization that we would in fact, eventually, try for another. Our sisters are our best friends and if we can provide that relationship for our daughter that would make us happy, but when, and how, will we know when it is the best time to add to our family?

Our Finances

We are comfortable with our current expenses. I can tell you we would not be comfortable increasing our daycare budget by much though. Until our debt is paid off by a significant amount, if not entirely, we will not be able to comfortably afford another child. If we have a son, we will also need to provide some things our daughter didn’t have, like a new wardrobe. Though I’m fine with a potential son playing with his sister’s toys, I draw the line at wearing dresses. We also need to be prepared for me potentially being put off work early again. Beefing up our emergency fund will be necessary.

My Health

I would be really upset if I got pregnant right now. Though I am healthy by definition, until I lose at least 15 more pounds I wouldn’t be comfortable going through another pregnancy.

Our Daughter

Prepping our first-born for the potential arrival of a sibling will take time. Even though we’re years from having a second child (two to three) we’ve already started asking her if she’d like a sibling. Planting the seed that there very well may be a new baby in the future. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming and you do have nine months of pregnancy to also introduce the child to upcoming change.

There is no perfect time for a child. There will always be that thing on your list that seems more important but that doesn’t mean you can’t be as prepared as possible for if and when it does happen.

How to Make Your Morning Run Smoothly

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make your mornings run smoothlyI wear many hats. Not only am a Mother, the most demanding job of all, but also a wife, a full-time employee, a freelance writer and blogger. I make time for friends and family and occasionally, myself. I like to go to the gym and love to have my nose in a good book. The problem? I need about 39 hours in a day to accomplish everything I set out to do.

With a lot on my plate every day, I need to do everything in my power to make sure my day starts out on the right foot. If my morning is chaotic, the rest of my day will follow suit. There are a few things that you can do to make sure your day starts out right and maximize the hours in your day.

Sleep

Trust me, I’m the guiltiest of this but lack of sleep will kill your day. Everyone has a number, for me it’s seven. Seven hours of sleep is exactly what I need to accomplish everything with energy. This doesn’t mean starting to get ready for bed at 11pm if you want to wake up at 6am. It means starting to wind down earlier and get ready to be asleep by 11pm.

Use Your Evenings Wisely

After my daughter goes to bed I make sure the mess from the evening is cleaned up (nothing worse than tripping over toys from the night before at 630am) and lunches are made. I don’t mean deep clean with floor scrubbed but at the very least make sure basic messes are cleaned and surfaced are cleared. If I attempted to leave making lunches for my family until the morning it simply wouldn’t get done and we’d all end up spending more money than we want because lunch wasn’t packed.

I also make sure everything we need to run out the door is right there, by the door. I don’t want to waste 10 minutes in the morning looking for the car keys or my purse. If you have kids make sure their bags are also packed and waiting by the door.

Stay on top of Laundry

Have you ever attempted to get dressed in the morning only to find the shirt you need to downstairs still in the dryer? If you stay on top of the laundry, meaning when you start a load finish it, including putting it away your life will be so much easier. Staying on top of laundry also allows you to lay your clothes out at night if you’re so inclined.

I understand that some things will have to wait. If you can’t get the dishes done, at least pile them neatly and get them rinsed until you do manage to find a few minutes to get them done. You know your morning the best and you need to sit down and figure out what will make it work for you. Maybe setting your coffee on a timer is necessary? Whatever it takes to get your day going as smoothly as possible will make the rest of your life that much easier.

How do you manage the chaos of the morning?

Why Your Family Absolutely Needs an Emergency Fund

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emergency fundIf you don’t already have one I’m here to tell you why you, especially with  family to care for, you absolutely need an emergency fund established.

My husband is currently in a precarious position with his job. There are some possible issues on the horizon regarding the stability of the company and the direction he’ll go in professionally. He is well-liked and educated in his area of work and I know he’ll land on his feet but the thought of something happening while he’s lining all his ducks in a row scares me. We can’t afford to have him off work for more than a few days at this point in our lives.

We are not currently in a position to have a large emergency fund of the standard three to six months’ worth of expenses. While we’re working on paying off the rest of our student debt and car loan, we have a small emergency fund that won’t float us more than two weeks if something does happens to his job.

Losing a Job

Reason #42764 I want to get this debt paid off is to beef up our savings so if we’re ever in a situation with one of our jobs we don’t have to worry. Especially when children are involved you need to be prepared for the possibility that something may happen to your employment situation regardless of how secure your job may seem. Unforeseen circumstances are always a possibility. You need to be prepared if your financial safety net (ability to bring in income) come out from underneath you.

Medical Emergencies

The second biggest reason why your family needs an emergency fund is medically related. We always hope something doesn’t or won’t happen but bad things happen to good people all of the time and you need to be prepared. There’s nothing worse than having stresses, especially financial, on top of being sick or caring for a sick family member. There is a local family of five and both parents, within two weeks of each other, were diagnosed with two different forms of cancer. Life isn’t always fair. They have managed to rally the community together to help the children in any way possible because the family has a long road ahead of them. With a proper emergency fund in place the parents can focus on overcoming this illness rather than how they’re going to afford the childcare bill or keeping the house warm this winter.

It doesn’t have to be as dramatic as getting diagnosed with cancer though. My husband was diagnosed two years ago with something that requires regular medication, the initial few weeks of medication and supplies, even with private insurance, still cost us a few hundred, un-budgeted for, dollars. It was after this diagnosis that we started saving for our emergency fund. The stress of the unknowns, and how it could possibly effect his ability to work (leading to decrease in pay) was enough to scare me.

Life is unpredictable. No matter how well you forecast, there will always be unexpected expenses, if you have the funds in place to pay for them you can move through life relatively stress free.

5 Tips for Planning a Cheap Family Getaway

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family vacationLast weekend I had the luxury of getting out of town with the family, even though we didn’t go very far it was so nice to just get out of our normal routine and boundaries. You don’t have to spend a ton of money to enjoy a family getaway. We managed a weekend away for less than $200 by finding some deals and capitalizing on cost savings, you can too.

Shop Around

We knew we’d need a hotel for the evening but weren’t interesting in spending a ton of money. I also knew we’d likely be spending a decent amount of time in our room given that we have a little on who is asleep fairly early so wanted it to be comfortable and spacious for my husband and I to enjoy while she was sleeping, without being overpriced. The internet makes searching for stuff like hotels a breeze. I found exactly what we needed for below the price we were willing to spend.

Look for Discount Options

We were planning to attend a specific event, if we signed up for notifications from the hosting vendor we would be granted a 25% discount on ticket price. Given that there we a total of seven of us traveling it saved us a decent chunk of money. We also saved on parking at the event itself because they considered us a carpool (more than 4 people), a nice surprise.

Enjoy and Seek Out Perks

I hate paying for parking at hotels, given the rate at which they charge you to sleep in a room I think it’s insane to charge upwards of $40 per day in some cities to park your car on top of room rate. I always look for hotels with free parking before ever paying. I also compare the room rate for breakfast vs. no breakfast included. At our particular hotel not only did we have free parking for only $10 more per night then the other hotel we were looking at, we got hot breakfast included. Our family of three certainly can’t eat (out) for less than $10. The hot breakfast is almost always worth the money to me.

Share Costs

A few family members were traveling with us to go to the same event to we decided to cut one of the cars out and share the cost in our vehicle instead. They save on wear and tear on their vehicle and we shared the cost of gas which was a help to both parties involved. We also shared a hotel room. Paying for the larger room and extra persons charge was still significantly cheaper than us each getting a room and it was nice to have the extra company!

Bring Your Own Snacks

Buying snacks on the road can get expensive. We always pack our collapsible cooler with drinks and light snacks for us and kiddo so we’re not tempted to waste money at gas stations and pit stop locations. We have a child who much prefers to graze throughout the day then eat larger meals so this works especially well for us.

With a little planning it is possible to plan a weekend away with your family and not break the bank. Proper budgeting will insure you can get away without worrying how you’re going to pay for it all when you get back!

3 Creative Ways to Save for Your Child’s College Education

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saving for collegeWhen my child was only five weeks old we opened a registered education savings account for her.

Neither my husband or I had any financial help for our education from our parents and ended up taking on significant debt to pay for it. While our intentions are not to pay for everything she may need for post secondary education we will be saving and contributing to it somewhat.

What we save is what she will have at her disposal, we won’t be compromising our own financial goals to pay for her education but that doesn’t mean we won’t still be able to contribute a decent chunk of money towards her savings. It just means we have to get creative.

Here are three ways we’re saving for our daughters college education.

Ask For Money

Given that she is the first child born into the family in quite some time, she is well taken care of.

People love to buy her little gifts and shower her with affection. There is very little she actually needs as so we have made it very clear that especially while she is still so young and doesn’t know, that rather than people giving her unnecessary toys or gifts, that they contribute to her post secondary fund instead.

We would rather the $10-$20 invested and gaining compound interest for the next 16-18 years than a toy she will play with for a few days before it gets lost in the shuffle. While some people aren’t comfortable with giving money (and that’s fine) most people are more than happy to not worry about what to get her and hand us a little cash to deposit on her behalf. This saves mom and dad on toy space and helps contribute to one of the best gifts she’ll ever receive, a good education.

Sell Their Stuff

Some things we’re holding onto for potential future children but other stuff we plan on selling. We just don’t have the room to store every item of clothing or every toy that enters our house. Given that these things were purchased for her, the money made from the sale should be reinvested into her. In our case we will be putting monies gained from selling her stuff into her education fund.

Have Them Save Their Own Money

While she’s so young we obviously manage her money now but in the not so distant future she will be managing her own. Birthday gifts, babysitting money and part-time jobs will give her a cashflow she will need to manage herself (with our guidance obviously).

Once she starts being responsible for her own money it will be important that she starts saving for things she wants, especially her education. We will teach her the importance of helping save towards her own goals, even if they seem impossibly far away. While she’s a kid living under our roof there will be very little that she will need so it will be expected that most of her money go into savings. I’m confident she will thank us on her graduation day!

Though not every kid pursues post secondary education it is money that needs to be in place in case they do because it can be a very costly venture if there are no funds in place, trust me, I know.

5 Smart Ways to Save on Back to School Supplies

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save on back to school suppliesIt’s hard to believe that we’re more than half way through August. Depending on where you live and the type of school system you’re in, kids may already be back to school but the majority of kids have a couple more weeks to enjoy before hitting the books again.

There is a local radio station trying to fundraise and gather a bunch of school supplies for local underprivileged children.

It’s funny, I always think about stuff like food and shelter but don’t often think about the necessity and cost involved with stuff like school supplies, after all it was something my mom always just took care of. The station has been quite successful and I’m glad too since having school supplies may be the key to getting out of poverty for some of these kids. There’s no doubt that proper school supplies are expensive but there are, like most things, way to save.

Reuse

I used to beg my mom for a new zipper closed binder every year and most times she’d say no since there was nothing wrong with my old one. Since she was buying I didn’t have much room for argument but she was right. If there is something that can be reused (zipper binders, book bags, math sets) do it! If you take care of your stuff there’s no need to re-buy everything each year.

Buy Used

At least this is the case with post-secondary kids. There is often no need to buy brand new text books. I never had any issue (in two university degrees) buying used books. Unless the texts were changed entirely, and they rarely are, I could always get away with using an edition one to two years old, the profs often giving the readings to multiple editions for this very reason.

Stock Up

If there’s a really great sale on an item you’ll know you’ll use (like paper and pens) stock up for a few years. I remember one year packages of loose-leaf paper were on sale for $0.09 with no limit. My mom bought enough for almost four years’ worth of education for my sister and I. Obviously this is space limited for certain items.

Shop the Sales

Pay attention to local sales and shop around. A lot of larger box stores will not only price match but beat by 5-10% with can add up to a large savings in the long run especially if you have more than one kid!

Buy Year Round

For things like school clothes, though there are good sales late summer pending fall return to school, I find the best sales for clothes to be after Christmas. Though this is often an expensive time of year anyway, if you can, it may save you money for upcoming school years to buy clothes then instead of August/September.

School definitely isn’t free, there are plenty of costs involved from supplies, clothes and projects year-round. If you have time to properly plan what, when and where you’ll buy certain things though, it could save you a ton of money!

Is Private School Worth the Cost?

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private school costsA lady I work with is paying for her daughter to go through an elite Catholic private school in the city. The other day at lunch she was telling me how stressed her and her husband were about now discussing paying for post secondary education.

Apparently the daughter announced that she was looking more closely at an expensive university in our nations capital, tens of thousands of kilometers away. The parents assumed she’d always stay close to home and live with them until university was finished, moving was never in the question.

I tried to remind her that she could still potentially get scholarships (she’s only in grade 11) or, worst case, get a student loan. Mom was appalled I had even suggested a loan. When I asked why, she said it was her ”duty” as a mother to provide 100% for her child, all education included. She would work full-time until she was 80 if it meant that her kid finished any and all post secondary debt-free. This, after paying $12,000 per year for the last 12 years for the private school.

While I agree that yes, it is a parents responsibility to provide for their child to the best of their abilities I am of the opinion that private school is a luxury and if my child choose to pursue a post secondary education beyond what my husband and I could help her with, then she’d be on her own to figure out the difference.

Private School Considerations

Our daughter is only two. We’re not yet thinking too much about where she will attend primary education, but I still think about whether or not we will enroll her in private school or public school. If we enroll her in private school there are many things to consider:

  • Arguable that she would get a better education and have a much more ”fun” time while in school since private schools have opportunities that public schools may not. However, both my husband and I, along with many of our friends who attended pubic school, had a very positive experience and many of us are quite successful. I have to wonder if, with our daughter growing up in an environment catered to nurturing her education, she would gain that much more in educational experience?
  • There’s the $12,000++ tuition every year for private school that, while a tax deduction for us parents, in my opinion may be much better used invested for post secondary opportunities (FYI: we already save monthly in a registered investment savings for post secondary for her). We could use the $1,000/month in many beneficial ways for our daughter in terms of extracurricular activities, travel, educational experiences as a family rather than for one member of the family.
  • Could be argued that if she is successful in private school, she may have more scholarship opportunities, combined with the arguable better education, may not need any savings from mom and dad.
  • Both private schools in the city are pretty far from where we would ever live and we’d need to deal with the expense of getting her to school everyday (gas, bridge tolls etc) in today’s dollars, based on our current location, would cost about $100 more per month in travel.

I’m leaning more towards public school and allocating a large portion of ”would be private school money” to other things for kiddo.

We couldn’t afford private school as well as many extracurricular activities. Both my husband and I will be very involved with her schooling, there’s no doubt she will be successful wherever she goes but we need to do what’s best for the family. If we have more than one child we certainly couldn’t afford two kids in private school, which is a whole other issue.

Did you/will your kids go to private school? Was it ”worth” it?

The Importance of Reading to Your Child

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reading to your childWhen we were in the hospital after I delivered my daughter one of the things that was given to us was a cloth bag with a few children’s books in it. When I asked what it was she explained that the hospital gave out this package to all new families as a way to encourage early reading. I thought it was crazy that they would need to even need to implement such a program (thinking about the cost of the program) but the program coordinator was the first to open my eyes to the growing issue of children simply not being exposed to books anymore.

Reading in the Digital Age

Kids aren’t getting read to, out loud, as much anymore. With the growing use of electronics especially, digital programs are replacing time with mom and dad and reading good old fashion books. Most pediatric societies argue children should have zero screen time until at least age two, some even older citing kids should have zero screen time until the age of five to seven. Screen time including television, computers and all other electronic devices.

While I do agree that screen time should be seriously limited, my daughter, being two years old is allowed to watch an episode or two of her favorite show. Where I draw the line though is introducing her to a computer or tablet device, especially to replace time she reads books.

Reading Aloud – The Old Way

My house is overrun with children’s books. We have hundreds of them, and it drives me crazy sometimes but listening to my just two year old run around the house yelling her ABC’s at the top of her little (ok, not so little) lungs makes me happy and reminds me why we have so many books.

We started reading to her as part of her daily routine which we implemented from a very young age. While she was really young, and not so active and on-the-go, we would read and look at books all day long, I mean what else could she do?! Now that she’s a very active toddler and outside playing and with other kids, we still set aside time to read every day.

She gets quiet time and books at a minimum before her nap and bedtime which, given how busy we are, is more than sufficient for me and much more than most kids are getting unfortunately. In a recent study, parents who did not read to their children on a regular basis (almost 50% of children by the way) cited not having enough time in the day to do it. To which I argue my husband and I both work full-time, have other responsibilities and side jobs, there is no way I could ever justify not having five to ten minutes a day to read to my child.

I’m not totally hating on technology but studies have shown that reading (old school) books out loud with pictures and words develops children much more than any electronic. Children who are read aloud to every day are stronger academically and have a much broader vocabulary. Benefits aside, I wouldn’t trade my evening reading and cuddle time for anything in the world, it’s my favorite part of our day!

For more on reading, and how to make sure you spend the best time with your children doing so, check out these great articles.

Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library Wants To Give Your Child a Free Book Every Month
A Fun and Economical Way to Get Kids Interested in Reading: Comic Books
Here are 8 of the Best Kids Books On Audible
4 Best Mini-Safes to Protect Valuable Comic Books

Do you read aloud to your children?

Will Having Another Baby Be Cheaper the Second Time Around?

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second childIn the last few months my husband and I are coming closer and closer to the conclusion that we will likely have another baby. Not for a few more years but if we have any control over the situation we would like to have another. More for the fact that we want our daughter to have a sibling. Both my husband and I are very close to our sisters and we want our daughter to have that relationship too. Though not the only reason, a big reason we’re choosing to wait to have more kids though is that kids aren’t cheap!

I really don’t think kids have to be as expensive as some would make them out to be but they’re still far from free. The two biggest expenses we need to consider is me being on maternity leave for upwards of a year (and losing some of my income) and daycare.

Preparing the Monthly Budget

 

Ideally we have another child at the same time our older daughter is preparing to start school. Once our daughter is in school she will no longer need full-time care and likely just a few hours in the afternoon until my husband and I are off work. This will save us hundreds of dollars a month for her current daycare cost. Having an older child in school while the younger is in daycare will definitely be the cheapest option in terms of saving on daycare costs initially.

As we come closer to preparing for me to be on maternity leave our monthly budget will look much better as we will have a significant amount of debt paid off as well. The peace of mind that comes with not having additional debt payments while on a reduced income will be great!

Saving on Baby Stuff

Most of the toys and baby items we bought and received as gifts for our daughter were very gender neutral which will save on upfront costs (and even if they’re not I have no issue with my potential son playing with his older sisters pink toys). There are very few baby ‘’items’’ we would need if we have another child. If we have a son we would need some clothes (most second-hand) as our daughter’s wardrobe is very girly and I draw the line at riding her pink motorcycle.

If possible, I will breastfeed again saving on formula and because we already own a pump and storage bags I wouldn’t need to re-purchase these.

Other than things like new savings account for post-secondary which will come with any future child, the other costs will be very limited. We will eventually need a second bed for him or her and some clothes, but because we have chosen to keep all of our current child’s things there is very little we actually need. Paying off our debt will also ensure I have a stress free maternity leave!

Did you spend less on your second baby than you did buying things for your first child?

3 Life Skills Every Child Needs To Learn

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life skills for kidsWith a two year old at home I won’t have an empty house for a number of years but that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about the skills she will require to be a self-sufficient young lady when she does eventually leave.

A kid I know is getting ready to move out in a few weeks and I’m fairly certain he couldn’t boil water if his life depended on it. Though he is brilliant academically he is seriously missing main life skills. Something I hope to avoid with my child.

Cooking

Teach your children basic cooking and baking techniques.

They don’t necessarily need to know how to whip up an apple pie from scratch but they should know how to confidently prepare a few key heathy recipes. Getting children involved in the kitchen at an early age is a great way to instill their skills. Though having my two year old cooking with me sometimes can be extra time consuming and messy she is having fun and learning some basic skills.

Cleaning

There is a difference between tidy and clean. If kids clean it usually involves tidying and putting things away. Though this is a good start, by the age of moving out, kids need to learn how to appropriately clean. The nitty-gritty of getting and maintaining their space clean. They need to know how to effectively clean things like toilets and ovens. Too many of my peers don’t bother to do things like clean the bathroom taps, it just gets yucky!

Budget and Money

This is a skill everyone needs to know but before your child is sent out on their own, they need to know how to budget and control their money. I have seen (and experienced) too many cases of mismanaged money simply because they didn’t know what they were doing.

If they’re ready to move out and control their own finances they need to know how to do it! Money skills are something that are learned and built up over time but even if they’re not it’s never too late to teach them! Establishing open communication about money is necessary too. Let your child know they can come to you for help if they need to. It’s much easier to help them in the beginning and help get them back on track then find out they’ve racked up a ton of debt and are in over their head.

Life skills are something that are established over time. Sometimes we as parents get so worked up in things like making sure they succeed academically or make the team that we forget the importance of very basic skills, skills that will take them very far in life!

How are you preparing your children for moving out?