Kids Ain't Cheap

But They Sure Are Worth It

Is the ‘Cry It Out’ Method Cruel or Effective?

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Crying newborn baby (Japanese baby girl)

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The debate over the ‘Cry It Out’ (CIO) method of sleep training has polarized parents and experts for years. This technique, which involves letting a baby cry for controlled periods to encourage self-soothing, has both ardent supporters and strong critics.

Advocates say CIO leads to better sleep patterns and improved parental well-being, while detractors worry about potential emotional harm to the infant. In this article, we delve into the research, benefits, and criticisms of the CIO method, offering insights to help you decide what’s best for your family. By understanding both sides of the debate, you can make an informed decision tailored to your child’s needs.

Understanding the CIO Method

The Cry It Out method involves allowing a baby to cry for set intervals before offering comfort. This approach is based on the idea that babies will eventually learn to self-soothe and fall asleep on their own. Proponents point to studies showing that CIO can improve sleep duration and quality for both infants and parents. It is typically recommended to begin this method when a baby is between 4 and 6 months old. Experts stress that consistency and a gradual increase in waiting time are key elements for success.

Benefits Reported by Advocates

Many parents report that CIO significantly improves sleep patterns, benefiting both the child and the entire family. Better sleep can lead to improved mood, increased energy, and reduced stress levels for parents. Some studies indicate that sleep training methods like CIO do not have long-term negative effects on emotional development. The quick results achieved by this method are often cited as a major advantage. Additionally, a well-rested baby can be more alert and content during waking hours, contributing to overall development.

Criticisms and Concerns

Critics of the CIO method argue that allowing a baby to cry without immediate comfort can cause emotional distress. Some worry that prolonged crying may lead to elevated stress hormone levels in infants. There are concerns about potential impacts on the child’s attachment and trust with caregivers. Parents who are uncomfortable with listening to their baby cry may find the method emotionally challenging. These concerns have led some experts to recommend gentler sleep training alternatives that focus on gradual soothing.

Alternative Sleep Training Methods

Sleeping Baby

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For parents seeking less stressful alternatives, several gentler sleep training methods are available. The Pick-Up/Put-Down method involves comforting the baby before returning them to their crib, gradually reducing the need for intervention. The Chair Method allows parents to remain present while slowly distancing themselves over time. Gradual extinction methods help minimize crying while still promoting independent sleep. Each alternative offers a different balance between parental involvement and fostering self-soothing skills.

What Research Tells Us

Scientific studies on the CIO method present mixed findings, with some showing no long-term negative effects and others urging caution. Research published in reputable journals indicates that, when implemented correctly, CIO does not harm the parent-child bond. However, the variability in individual child temperament means that one method may work well for some but not for others. It is important to review multiple studies and consider your child’s unique needs. Informed decision-making requires balancing empirical evidence with your parental instincts.

Making the Best Decision for Your Family

Ultimately, choosing a sleep training method should be based on your child’s temperament and your comfort level as a parent. Reflect on your family’s values, your baby’s responses, and your own emotional well-being. Consulting with your pediatrician can provide personalized advice tailored to your situation. It is also helpful to speak with other parents who have tried different methods. The goal is to ensure a restful night for everyone without compromising the emotional health of your baby.

Have you tried the Cry It Out method, or do you prefer a gentler approach? What challenges have you faced in establishing a sleep routine for your baby? Share your experiences, tips, and questions in the comments below to help other parents navigate this challenging decision.

Read More:

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12 Childcare Issues That Rich People Never Have to Face

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12 Childcare Issues That Rich People Never Have to Face
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For the average family, childcare is one of their biggest monthly expenses. If daycare is draining your finances, you might have to put savings for your child and their future on the backburner. Wealthy people usually don’t have to make trade-offs or sacrifices to afford quality childcare. In this post, we’ll explore 12 childcare issues that rich people never have to face to help raise awareness about these disparities. 

1. Limiting Family Size Due to Childcare Costs

Limiting Family Size Due to Childcare Costs
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Depending on the age of the child, the cost of full-time childcare can range from $5,000 to $17,000 per year. For some families, sending just one child to daycare is such a financial struggle that they can’t afford to have a second. 

Lower-income couples who have always wanted multiple children are often forced to make tough family planning decisions. Out of financial necessity, they might have to limit their family size or delay having more kids until their oldest children are in school and out of daycare. Wealthy families simply don’t face these financial constraints.

2. Skipping Date Night to Save Money 

Going on a weekly date night is a great way for couples to reconnect. Rich couples can easily afford nanny services, allowing them to regularly enjoy time away from the kids. 

On the other hand, less affluent families are often unable to fit the cost of babysitting and eating out into their tight budgets. If they live near family and friends, they may be able to get free childcare occasionally when they need a break from parenting duties. This disparity may be one of the reasons low-income couples have higher divorce rates on average. 

3. Dealing with Daycare Closures 

Dealing with Daycare Closures
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Wealthy people often have live-in nannies and don’t have to deal with daycare closures. Daycares can shut down temporarily due to inclement weather, staffing issues, or illness outbreaks. During the pandemic, many parents struggled to find backup care for their children and were forced to juggle childcare responsibilities with remote work.

4. Burden on Older Siblings 

Low-income families often struggle to afford childcare, which can place more responsibility on older siblings. In lieu of aftercare, the eldest child may walk younger siblings home from school and look after them until their parents return. This role forces the oldest child to grow up more quickly and may not be developmentally appropriate. Kids from affluent backgrounds who don’t have to step up for their siblings are free to enjoy their childhood and act their age. 

5. Trouble Affording Summer Camp 

Trouble Affording Summer Camp
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Summer camp is a quintessential childhood experience. Everyone remembers those warm summer days spent canoeing, playing games, and hiking. But while the kids are out having fun, the parents are working to pay up to $2000 for each week of camp. If you’ve been saving for your child for a long time, you may be able to afford this luxury. But many low-income families can’t and struggle to arrange childcare during the summer. 

Going into debt for summer camp or simply being unable to afford it is a hardship wealthy families don’t have to face. They can send their children to the best, most enriching summer camps without blinking at the cost, which is definitely a privilege. 

6. Lack of Individualized Attention 

In daycare settings, workers often have to look after multiple children at a time, limiting the amount of attention each child receives. Studies have shown that lack of attention during childhood can lead to behavioral problems. 

Wealthy families often have a highly qualified live-in nanny who can focus on their child individually, allowing them to form a closer bond. Rich parents may also hire tutors for their young children to help prepare them for school and extracurriculars. As a result, children from rich backgrounds may have better developmental outcomes.

7. Limited Parental Leave 

In the US, new parents aren’t guaranteed paid time off. Some workplaces don’t provide paid maternity or paternity leave as a benefit, which is why saving for your child is so important. Having cash reserves set aside will enable you to take time off to bond with your newborn without financial stress. 

8. Lack of Services for Special Needs

Skipping Date Night to Save Money
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Even if you’ve been saving for your child for a while, you still might not have enough funds to cover services for a special needs child. Speech, occupational, and physical therapy sessions can cost $100 or more. Depending on your child’s level of impairment, they may need years of treatment to catch up, costing you thousands. 

Wealthy families can afford to pay for therapy or even send their children to specialized schools without financial strain, leading to better long-term outcomes. 

9. Transportation Issues

Lack of transportation is another childcare issue that wealthy people don’t deal with. Some families can only afford one car, which makes coordinating daycare and work schedules difficult. Low-income families may even rely on public transportation, which makes getting around even harder. 

Affluent families can afford extra vehicles, and may even be able to pay a nanny or driver to bring their kids to school. This is a big advantage that saves wealthy parents a lot of time. 

10. Staying at Home Isn’t an Option

For many, childcare is a catch-22. You can’t have a traditional job without childcare, but childcare can take up a significant portion of your income. Less affluent couples are forced to find a way to get by on a single income or pony up for childcare. While couples will often debate if having a parent stay home is worth it, for single parents that isn’t an option at all. 

When making childcare decisions, wealthy couples usually don’t have to factor in the cost. If one parent wants to stay home, they can do so without financial strain. Nannies can also be hired to help fill in any gaps, which is an option regular people don’t have. 

11. Saving for Your Child vs. Paying for Childcare 

If you’re middle or working class, saving for your child to go to college while paying for childcare is likely impossible. In 2022, the average family spent between 9% and 16% of their income on daycare. After paying bills and buying food, this leaves little room for saving for the future. 

Affluent parents are often able to set up trusts for their kids and pass on generational wealth. Children from rich backgrounds who can attend college without worrying about the cost have a big leg up. 

12. Impacts on Your Career

Impacts on Your Career
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You always want to see some form of forward momentum in your career. But if you’re consistently being taken away from work to care for your kids or arrange last-minute backup care, you may miss some opportunities. While some employers may be more understanding or flexible, many lower-income parents will experience some impact on their career trajectory.

What are some childcare issues you’ve faced? Share your experiences in the comments.

Daycare Vouchers in Florida: 7 Things You Need to Know to Apply Today

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How to get daycare vouchers in Florida
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If you’re struggling with the high price of childcare, you may be wondering how to get daycare vouchers in Florida. The annual cost of daycare in the state tops $9,000, so many parents and guardians need assistance to be able to afford it. That’s where the School Readiness Program comes in, which provides childcare subsidies based on your household size and income level. Here are 7 things you need to know about the process to apply today.

How to Get Daycare Vouchers in Florida 

Answering your questions about how to get daycare vouchers in Florida
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Understand the Program 

Before we dive into how to get daycare vouchers in Florida, let’s go over how the program works. Childcare assistance is usually provided through the School Readiness Program. It helps families of kids aged birth to five afford childcare by offsetting the cost. You’ll still be responsible for a copay (check out a sample fee schedule here), which varies depending on factors like the county you live in and the age of your child. But the copay is much more affordable than the full, unsubsidized price of daycare. 

Determine Your Eligibility 

Wondering how to get daycare vouchers in Florida? First, you need to determine whether or not your family is eligible for assistance based on your income and number of children. To qualify for subsidies, your earnings must be at or below 150% of the federal poverty level for a household of your size. This FPL calculator can help you figure out where your family stands. 

Additionally, there are work requirements parents and guardians have to meet. You must be employed at least 20 hours per week or attend school and take 12 or more credit hours to qualify. 

Submit Your Application 

Here's how to get daycare vouchers in Florida
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Applications for the School Readiness Program are handled by each county’s Early Learning Coalition. You can use this directory to find your ELC’s location and contact information. Many offices allow you to apply for the program in person. But you can also submit your application online through Florida’s Early Learning Family Portal. Don’t forget that there are a few required documents you must send in with your paperwork, including your child’s birth certificate and proof of income, residency, and employment or school enrollment.

Waiting Lists

Sometimes there’s too much demand for childcare assistance at once. When this happens, the county starts a waitlist and ranks families based on factors like the application date, the age and ability of the child, and the level of financial need. The ELC often prioritizes at-risk children and kids with special needs. 

It’s important to note that once you’re on a waiting list, you must revalidate your information every 6 months to renew your spot. You’ll be notified 30 days before your revalidation is due. Failure to provide information can result in your removal. A subsequent application would put you further down the list and force you to wait longer, so be sure to respond to requests for documentation!

Choose an Approved Daycare Provider

Daycare assistance
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The School Readiness Program requires you to choose a state-approved childcare provider to receive the subsidy. The Department of Children and Families has a provider lookup tool that can help you find a reputable daycare for your child. Simply enter the name of your city to pull up a directory of trusted providers in your area. The tool can also be used to vet childcare centers that friends and family recommend by inputting their names. You can contact your local Child Care and Resource agency if you need further assistance with finding an approved daycare. 

Renewals

Florida’s Daycare Vouchers are not permanent and must be renewed every time the benefit expires, which is often every 12 months. Going through a renewal is very similar to the original application process. About a month before your benefit ends, the state will notify you of the information they need. The state is looking to confirm that you and your family still qualify for benefits and will request a number of documents to prove your income and your education or employment status.

Eligibility Changes 

How to get daycare voucher in Florida if eligibility changes
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Once you’re enrolled in the program, you must report any changes that could affect your eligibility, such as a salary bump. Your ELC should have an eligibility change form available on their website that you can fill out and send in. If you need to take a break from the program temporarily or change providers, you’ll also have to notify your ELC. 

Still stuck? Your local Child Care and Resource Referral can answer your questions about how to get daycare vouchers in Florida.

If you’ve been through the process, share your experience in the comments to help other parents! 

Parenting on a Budget: 8 Tips for Affordable Childcare Alternatives

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Parenting on a Budget 8 Tips for Affordable Childcare Alternatives

Parenting is a journey filled with joys and challenges, one of which is managing the high costs of childcare. As childcare expenses continue to rise, many parents find themselves seeking affordable alternatives that do not compromise the quality of care their children receive. Here are eight practical, budget-friendly childcare options for cost-conscious parents. Embracing these strategies can significantly reduce your childcare expenses without sacrificing your child’s well-being and development.

1. Join or Form a Babysitting Cooperative

Join or Form a Babysitting Cooperative

A babysitting cooperative (co-op) is a fantastic childcare alternative for parents looking to economize. In a co-op, a group of parents agree to take turns watching each other’s children, thereby eliminating the cost of hiring a babysitter. This not only provides free childcare but also builds a supportive community. Parents can feel confident knowing their children are under the care of trusted fellow parents. Additionally, kids benefit by interacting and forming friendships within the group. As a starting point, contact local parenting groups or neighbors to gauge interest in creating a co-op, as that can help you determine if this strategy is viable.

2. Explore Employer-Sponsored Childcare Programs

Explore Employer-Sponsored Childcare Programs

Many employers now recognize the value of supporting their employees with childcare needs. Some companies offer subsidies, on-site childcare, flexible spending accounts, or partnerships with local childcare providers at a reduced rate. Take the time to discuss available childcare support options with your HR department. These programs can significantly reduce childcare costs and offer the convenience of proximity and trust in services endorsed by your employer.

3. Utilize Community and Recreational Center Programs

Utilize Community and Recreational Center Programs

Community centers, YMCAs, and recreational centers often host affordable childcare programs, including after-school and summer camps. These programs are typically less expensive than private childcare options and provide a wide range of activities that promote physical activity and social interaction. Additionally, many of these centers offer sliding scale fees based on income, which can further help reduce costs for families parenting on a budget.

4. Rely on Extended Family

Rely on Extended Family

If you have relatives living nearby, consider arranging a childcare swap or simply asking for help a few days a week. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other family members often love spending extra time with the younger family members. This arrangement can provide a loving and familiar environment for your child, strengthen family bonds, and significantly cut down on childcare expenses.

5. Opt for In-Home Daycare

Opt for In-Home Daycare

In-home daycare centers are generally less expensive than larger daycare facilities. These operations are run from the provider’s home, offering a more personal childcare setting. Kids benefit from smaller group sizes and a homely atmosphere. When choosing an in-home daycare, make sure the provider is licensed and has good references. This option balances cost with quality care, often at a more affordable rate than commercial centers.

6. Investigate Government and Non-Profit Programs

Investigate Government and Non-Profit Programs

Government programs and non-profit organizations can offer low-cost childcare solutions, especially for low-income families or those experiencing financial hardships. Programs like Head Start provide early childhood education and care based on family income levels. Research local and federal government initiatives to understand the eligibility requirements and available benefits, allowing you to find options that may substantially reduce childcare costs.

7. Share a Nanny

Share a Nanny

Another effective way to manage childcare costs is through a nanny share, where two or more families employ one nanny and split the cost. This can dramatically reduce expenses while maintaining a high level of care and attention for your child. Nanny shares also allow for more flexibility in childcare hours and can be a more personalized care option than traditional daycare settings.

8. Schedule Work Flexibly

Schedule Work Flexibly

If your job permits, flexible working hours or telecommuting can help you manage childcare directly. Altering your work schedule to fit your partner’s can allow you to take turns caring for your child, thus reducing the need for external childcare services. This not only saves money but also increases the amount of time you spend with your child, fostering a stronger parent-child relationship.

Try Out These Childcare Alternatives to Make Parenting on a Budget Possible

Try Out These Childcare Alternatives to Make Parenting on a Budget Possible

By considering these affordable childcare alternatives, parents can find viable solutions that fit their financial needs while ensuring their children receive quality care. Each option offers different benefits, so evaluating what works best for your family’s specific circumstances is essential. Remember, the goal of parenting on a budget is not merely to save money but to make the best possible choices for the well-being and development of your child.

Read More:

14 Reasons Parents Should Consider In-Home Childcare

From Diapers to Downloads: 15 Staggering Financial Truths About Modern Parenting

My Husband’s Stay-at-Home Dad Experience

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Man Lying on a Bed Cuddling with His Toddler Son

One of the best benefits of modern society is that families have many choices when it comes to childcare. The mother or father can stay home with the child, have a grandparent watch the child, or utilize a nanny or daycare. When my husband and I had our first child, my husband became a stay-at-home dad.

A Little Background

I taught full-time when we had our first child; my husband was in graduate school. Unfortunately, we lived in the suburbs of a large city, and quality daycare was $800 to $1200 a month, which we couldn’t afford. So, my husband dropped to part-time student status and cared for our son for the first two years of his life. While my husband enjoyed that time, he found the stay-at-home dad experience challenging sometimes.

My Husband’s Stay-at-Home Dad Experience

Even now, stay-at-home dads are not the norm, so they get more attention (both positive and negative) than stay-at-home moms do.

Prepare for Judgment (Positive and Negative)

My husband was shocked at the judgment he experienced.

Positive

Many moms praised my husband for being involved and a good dad. They told him how great it was that he had the flexibility to stay at home and spend time with our son.

Negative

On the flip side, he also experienced some negativity. On the mild side, some women praised him for “babysitting” his child, which he found frustrating. Because, of course, he wasn’t babysitting; he was raising his child.

However, he faced stronger negativity from people who saw him as less than other men because he cared for his child instead of working and earning an income. While stay-at-home moms can do their job mostly judgment-free, stay-at-home dads are unusual even in this day and age. Some people can’t shake their gender expectations.

Must Be Self-Confident

Because he doesn’t take criticism personally, other people’s judgment didn’t bother him that much. Mostly he was able to laugh it off. However, any man considering being a stay-at-home dad must be self-confident and have thick skin.

Enjoy the Time with Your Kids

Man in his livingroom with toddler daughter on his shoulders.

Not all parents get to stay home with their kids, so those that do are privileged. Enjoy the time you spend with your kids, whether it’s mom or dad staying home. The old saying, “The days are long, but the years are short,” definitely applies. The time you spend with your kids when they are little is fleeting.

Expect Some Challenges

Finally, expect some challenges. For example, my husband sometimes felt uncomfortable attending a kid’s library event or class and being the only dad in a room full of women. While the moms could talk easily to one another, he felt awkward.

My husband also said that it’s essential that the wife of a stay-at-home dad be comfortable with her husband being around other female parents when he joins social events for kids.

Final Thoughts

Overall, my husband’s stay-at-home dad experience was a positive one. After he finished his degree and we had two more kids, he went to work, and I became the stay-at-home mom. When caring for your children and providing for your family, only you can say which childcare experience is best.

Read More

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A Financial Guide To Childcare

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Financial Guide To Childcare

The costs of childcare depend on several factors including where you live, the types of childcare services you need, and the number of hours you require childcare services. With the right amount of planning, the costs of these services can be significantly reduced.

High Costs of Childcare

According to the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies (NACCRRA) the cost of center-based daycare in the US sits in the range of $3,582 to $18,773 per year. The average cost of such services is $11,666 per year. An au pair costs between $4,320 and $19,800 per year. The average cost of an au pair is around $18,500 per year.

Planning Ahead for Childcare

You can find the right au pair in the USA, using online resources. This way, you are better able to understand the different types of options you may have available to you. With a greater variety of options, you have a better chance of choosing a childcare service that is suitable for you financially.

The food needs of an au pair will need to be considered when budgeting. They will require food that meets their dietary requirements. Households must ensure that they do not spend money on food that does not get eaten. In order to avoid wasting money on food, it is advisable to merge the eating habits of an au pair with that of the family.

Managing Finances

A contingency fund helps when unexpected expenses arise. You can transfer a fixed amount of money to your fund. A provision for 50 percent of additional expenses should be made before the birth of a child.

A budget needs to set to guide the financial decisions in relation to childcare. Costs of childcare can increase significantly over time. A budget helps to prepare a household for both expected and unexpected childcare costs. With a budget, you can have a better idea of the options you have.

It helps to reduce your debts in order to reduce the pressure on childcare expenses. With a documented plan to reduce debt, one can more easily afford childcare services. One of the best ways to reduce debts is to take active steps to reduce the use of credit cards.

There are different costs by members of the household that may not need to be accrued. An extra car, for example, can be sold in order to reduce monthly costs. Changes may also be made to your home to reduce utility bills.

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The Summer Job That Prepped Me For Motherhood

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NannyDuring my undergraduate degree I worked part-time at a local pharmacy as a pharmacy technician. I loved this job. I got to interact with so many different people every day, working with the public is certainly anything but boring, especially in healthcare. One particular summer, the job wasn’t able to offer me the full-time hours I had received during the previous years due to new FT permanent hires; being a university student and not a ‘lifer’, I was low on the totem pole. It was no secret to my employer and fellow employees I was actively pursuing a second job that wouldn’t interfere with my current one. During a conversation with one of our regular customers, I came to find out she and her husband were in the process of looking for a nanny. She had just finished her pediatric residency in a big city and was moving home to settle down and start her new job as an emergency room pediatrician. She wanted to know if I knew of anyone looking. Well, in fact, I did.

Hire Me!

The words, ‘hire me’ came out of my mouth before I even knew what the job entailed. What did I know about kids?! I was 21, babysat my cousins a few times but I certainly didn’t consider myself confident enough to mind a 23 and 4 month old on a full-time basis for the five months leading up to my classes starting back up. I had NO idea what I had just signed up for.

She did hire me. She liked me at the pharmacy, knew my boss on a personal basis, and had way more confidence in my abilities than I did.

I was scared. to. death.

When she and her husband were at work, I was 100% responsible for these two amazing little kids. What if something happened? Their MOM would be the ER doctor! What if the kids didn’t like me?! What if I managed to totally screw up their lives somehow?! What if…

Learning as I Went

I quickly learned I had to let go of the ”what if’s” and just go with it. I was thrown into the fire so-to-speak and am so glad. Even in the dreaded long hours of dealing with a colicky 4 month old baby girl who was unknowingly fighting a severe lactose allergy from moms breast milk, I quickly grew to love those two kids.

Between the nannying and pharmacy job, I was working over 80 hour weeks. It was exhausting but I loved every minute of it.

I grew up thinking parents and caregivers alike had some sort of manual they were able to refer to, but it became clear to me very quickly that although it appeared they were experts, they were totally winging it.

Raising Children Makes You Mature

Providing childcare is a very humbling job. Children force the youth and silliness out of you. You try maturely playing with a 23 month old; he’ll have you on the floor playing ‘ride the horse’ faster than you know, and know what? You’ll enjoy it. Being able to make a child smile, especially from the simplest of things, is one of life’s greatest rewards. What are simple silly tasks for an adult, bring happiness and memories for a child.

The summer all too quickly came to an end. I remember putting the little boy to bed on what I knew would be my last night there, he snuggled in bed with me as I read him stories and I quietly cried as he said ‘Goodnight and I love you, Catherine’. I loved him too and would miss our fun-filled days together playing with his baby sister. His mom and I cried some more before I left that night, these two kids taught me so much more than diaper changes and stain removal techniques. They brought the ‘mom’ out of me.

I can honestly say that summer prepped me in so many ways for becoming a mother. Being a first time mom, people would often ask during my pregnancy if I was scared or nervous for all that motherhood was sure to entail. I was confidently able to say ‘no’. I knew I could do it, I was taught by the best 23 and 4 month old teachers this world had to offer.

Have you ever had a job that helped you prepare to become a parent?