Kids Ain't Cheap

But They Sure Are Worth It

Why Dads Get Applauded for Doing the Bare Minimum

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Dad casually parenting while receiving praise
Image Source: Unsplash

It’s a scene that plays out on park benches and dinner tables everywhere: a dad shows up at school pickup, bathes the kids, or packs their lunches—and then receives near-heroic praise.

Meanwhile, moms doing the exact same daily tasks get… silence. No parade. No Facebook accolades. Just another Tuesday. When it comes to parenting, the applause gap is real—and it’s long overdue for a closer look.

Let’s explore why society showers dads with gold stars for routine parenting duties, and how we can shift these outdated standards toward genuine equality and recognition for all.

The Weight of Gender Roles Hits Differently

Generations of societal messaging have painted men as breadwinners first, caregivers second. Even though family structures have evolved, the echoes of these stereotypes persist. As a culture, we’re often so used to seeing fathers as only partially involved that any sign of hands-on parenting looks above-and-beyond.

These days, dads who handle simple chores like laundry or bedtime stories receive near-celebrity status. This dynamic places minimal expectations on fathers while mothers shoulder the bulk of the day-to-day mental load without receiving half the applause.

Hero Status for Simply Showing Up

Let’s be clear—active fatherhood is wonderful. What’s problematic is the double standard that showers dads with compliments for tasks moms are expected to do automatically. Whether it’s preparing dinner, attending parent-teacher meetings, or dispensing medicine during a sniffle season, these are standard parenting duties. Yet our culture has normalized praising fathers for “babysitting their own kids,” creating a lower bar that inadvertently underestimates mothers’ everyday work. The imbalance can leave moms feeling unseen or undervalued.

Mothers Face a Thankless Marathon

Behind every “amazing dad” post stands a mom who’s quietly done the same tasks—or more—day in and day out, often without a break. She’s scheduling doctor’s appointments, juggling extracurriculars, making sure dinner includes vegetables, and checking homework. And she does it all without a standing ovation. The discrepancy isn’t that dads don’t deserve praise—it’s that moms deserve just as much. When dads are applauded for minimal involvement, mothers can end up exhausted, carrying a heavier workload with little validation.

Father actively caring for his child
Image Source: Unsplash

Fatherhood Is Not Optional

One significant aspect fueling the praise gap is the perception that fatherly involvement is extra credit. If dads participate, it’s seen as a bonus, whereas mothers are expected to be ever-present. This mindset perpetuates the idea that fatherhood is a choice rather than a commitment. Of course, many modern dads want to be fully involved. But if we give them gold stars for everyday parenting, we reinforce the message that the “bare minimum” is both special and sufficient.

Changing the Double Standard

  • Acknowledge the Overlooked: Show genuine appreciation for both parents. If you see a mom managing grocery shopping and two kids in tow with grace, that’s noteworthy, too.
  • Embrace Equal Parenting: Division of labor at home should reflect each partner’s strengths and schedule—not gender-based assumptions. Let kids see their dads handling nighttime routines or meal prep regularly, so it becomes normal.
  • Raise the Bar, Not the Applause: Encouragement is great, but let’s not over-celebrate the basics. Encourage active fatherhood as standard, not extraordinary.

Celebrating Parenting, Not Gender Stereotypes

This isn’t about taking anything away from dads who are truly stepping up. Engaged fatherhood is a powerful, positive force in family life, and dads who participate deserve real support.

It’s about evening the scale so that mothers don’t burn out while fathers are seen as heroic for tasks that should be second nature. When we stop giving out trophies for the basics and instead celebrate genuine partnership and emotional presence, everyone wins. Families grow stronger, kids see healthier role models, and parents—both moms and dads—feel equally valued.

Have you noticed this double standard in your community or household? Drop your perspective in the comments. Your insight could guide another parent wrestling with the same frustration—and remind them that real partnership means raising the bar for us all.

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