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Parents: Stop Bringing Uninvited Siblings to Parties

May 4, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Image by Victoria Rodriguez

There’s an unspoken rule in the world of birthday parties, school events, and playdate invites: if the invitation says one child’s name, that means just one child is invited. And yet, many parents continue to show up with siblings in tow, some even expecting an extra goodie bag or slice of cake. While it might seem harmless, the practice of bringing uninvited siblings to parties can cause more problems than most people realize.

What may feel like a small parenting shortcut is often interpreted as inconsiderate, entitled, and disruptive. It puts unnecessary pressure on the host family, changes the dynamic of the event, and sends the wrong message to both your kids and theirs.

If you’re guilty of this party faux pas or know someone who is, read on. Here’s why it’s time for this habit to end.

It Overloads the Host’s Budget

Planning a child’s party often comes with a strict guest count and a tightly managed budget. Whether it’s pizza, cupcakes, craft materials, or party favors, most hosts plan for the number of children listed on their RSVP list—not for every sibling a guest might bring along. Each uninvited child means more food, more supplies, and sometimes, a scramble to accommodate someone who wasn’t supposed to be there.

No parent wants to explain to a wide-eyed extra kid why there’s no party bag with their name on it. But they also shouldn’t be expected to overspend just in case someone decides to bring the whole crew.

It Changes the Party’s Dynamic

Kids’ parties are often planned around specific ages or interests. A spa party for ten-year-olds isn’t the right place for a toddler running around with sticky hands. A bounce house built for elementary kids isn’t safe for a clumsy three-year-old.

Bringing uninvited siblings disrupts the age-appropriate vibe the host worked hard to create. It can change the flow of activities, shift the attention away from the birthday child, and leave everyone, including your own kids, feeling confused about the rules.

It’s a Teachable Moment That You’re Missing

When you honor an invitation as it’s written, you’re modeling boundaries and respect for your children. When you ignore it and show up with a sibling who wasn’t invited, you’re doing the opposite.

Instead of saying, “Not everything is about you,” or “We don’t go where we’re not invited,” you’re essentially telling your child that rules bend when it’s inconvenient. That undermines both manners and empathy—and we all know the world needs more of both.

Image by Sirio 

It’s Okay to Say No (Or Hire a Sitter)

Yes, sometimes childcare is hard to find. But showing up with an extra kid shouldn’t be the default solution. If you can’t leave the sibling at home, ask the host ahead of time if it’s okay to bring them. If the answer is no, that’s not rude. It’s realistic.

Not every family can afford (financially or mentally) to entertain more children than they planned for. And honestly, it’s okay for your invited child to skip a party if the logistics don’t work out this time. Not every invitation needs to become a full-family outing.

It Can Make Other Kids Feel Left Out

Bringing an uninvited sibling can create awkward social moments for other children. Maybe your child’s classmate didn’t get to invite their own sibling. Maybe a younger sibling feels bad watching a party they aren’t really part of. Or worse, maybe the birthday child now has to share their attention or feel like their day has been hijacked by someone else’s little brother.

When party boundaries are crossed, no one wins, especially the kids who were supposed to be the focus.

If You’re the Host, Set Clear Expectations

This problem doesn’t fall solely on the guest’s shoulders. Parents planning a party can help by setting crystal-clear expectations. A well-worded invitation like, “Due to space limitations, this party is for invited guests only—thank you for understanding!” can go a long way.

If you’re feeling generous and open to extra siblings, be explicit about it: “Siblings welcome!” That way, everyone knows what to expect, and no one ends up on the spot.

The Bottom Line: Respect the Invite

It comes down to one simple principle—respect. Respect the host’s effort, budget, and planning. Respect the boundaries they set. Respect your child enough to show them that invitations are meaningful, and respect other children enough not to overshadow their moment in the spotlight.

It’s a party, not a free-for-all. And while no one wants to play the etiquette police, sometimes a little courtesy is the biggest gift you can bring.

Have you ever had to deal with unexpected siblings at your child’s party—or been the one to bring one along? What do you think is a fair approach?

Read More:

7 Birthday Gifts Your Child Should Never Bring to a Party

How to Plan an Epic Party: 10 Cheap Birthday Party Ideas You’ll Love

Riley Schnepf
Riley Schnepf

Riley is an Arizona native with over nine years of writing experience. From personal finance to travel to digital marketing to pop culture, she’s written about everything under the sun. When she’s not writing, she’s spending her time outside, reading, or cuddling with her two corgis.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: children’s social skills, family manners, kids birthday parties, parenting advice, parenting boundaries, parenting etiquette, party guest rules, Party Planning Tips, raising respectful kids, RSVPs

Saving Money on Kids Birthday Parties

June 11, 2014 | Leave a Comment

money saving ideas for kids birthday partiesThis past weekend my daughter was invited to the birthday of a little girl we know.

She was turning six and all I knew was that there was a ”clown theme”. It was the first time I’ve actually attended the birthday party of a child (outside of me being a kid myself) and holy. cow. The party was over the top.

I certainly don’t remember ever having, or attending a party of such detail before in my life. It scared me a little into thinking there was some new expectation to have a huge party for kiddo’s upcoming birthday.

I was right, there was a clown theme which included:

  • Having a live clown perform or two hours making balloon creations for every kid present (at least 30 kids), a full kid-friendly magic show and all sorts of attention for the birthday girl.
  • Rented hall for event.
  • Full decoration (balloons, streamers, plates etc)
  • Toys for kids (clown noses, silly bowties, party hats)
  • Food (fresh fruit, candy in skewer form, cake, chips)
  • Multiple treat bags full of stuff for each kid.
  • And so many gifts!

Saving Money on Kids Birthday Parties

Kid parties certainly don’t have to be so over-the-top though. You can have all sorts of fun without compromising the child’s memory. To save on kids parties consider doing these money saving tips:

  • Only invite the child’s friends/family. There was simply no way this little girl was friends with every child there. Invite only kids that your child actually interacts with. There is no rule about mandatory invitation to every child in their class.
  • Don’t have it during a time when a meal may be expected. Only serve snacks and keep them to a minimum. Depending on how many people may be present, buying in bulk at a store like Costco or Sams Club may be the best option.
  • If you do serve a meal make or buy something that is inexpensive but can serve a lot of people (lasagna, pizza, pasta, BBq burgers/dogs) or consider a potluck meal.
  • Look into group party discounts at local attractions. I know the local movie theater here offers a pretty good price for a large group (movie ticket, snacks, room rental and cake all included). If you’re only inviting close friends and family it can be a reasonable option.

If you start with extravagant parties, especially so young, there will be an expectation for years.

I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t have fun and celebrate their special day but keep it within reason. This can’t be the new norm! I remember having my friends over for pizza and games, as we got older possibly a sleepover, not an all-out afternoon event with every kid in the neighborhood. Put the focus on your child having fun, not money spent.

How do you save money on kids birthday parties?

 

Catherine
Catherine

Catherine is a first time momma to a rambunctious toddler. When she isn’t soaking up all that motherhood has to offer, you can find her blogging over at Plunged in Debt where she chronicles her and her husbands journey out of debt. You can also follow her on Twitter.

plungedindebt.com

Filed Under: Holidays, Money and Finances, Uncategorized Tagged With: kids birthday parties, Saving Money

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Basic Principles Of Good Parenting

Here some basic principles for good parenting:

  1. What You Do Matters: Your kids are watching you. So, be purposeful about what you want to accomplish.
  2. You Can’t be Too Loving: Don’t replace love with material possessions, lowered expectations or leniency.
  3. Be Involved Your Kids Life: Arrange your priorities to focus on what your kid’s needs. Be there mentally and physically.
  4. Adapt Your Parenting: Children grow quickly, so keep pace with your child’s development.
  5. Establish and Set Rules: The rules you set for children will establish the rules they set for themselves later.  Avoid harsh discipline and be consistent.
  6. Explain Your Decisions: What is obvious to you may not be evident to your child. They don’t have the experience you do.
  7. Be Respectful To Your Child: How you treat your child is how they will treat others.  Be polite, respectful and make an effort to pay attention.
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