Kids Ain't Cheap

But They Sure Are Worth It

How to Plan a Great Date Night on a Budget

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Spending time with your significant other doesn't have to be expensive. Here's how to plan a great date night on a budget.People will tell you that once kids come into the picture, having traditional date nights will be hard, and they’re right.

For a multitude of reasons it becomes difficult to get away sans kids. We’re bad for not making it a priority. Part of the reason for us is that quite honestly we enjoy having our daughter around. It’s not too often that we’re eager to get away from the responsibilities of parenting and be alone but we know it’s essential to our marriage.

You don’t realize how little engagement you and your spouse have until you’re in a situation where it can happen. Though we get away or go out, we usually have our daughter with us and no fault of hers, she consumes almost all of our attention and conversation. She’s at an age now where if we tell her we need a few minutes to talk or whatever she gets slightly offended so it’s more appropriate to just plan an evening or day where she can have fun doing kid stuff (with a sitter) and we can have uninterrupted time alone.

Dates don’t have to be expensive.

When we were planning our anniversary last month we decided to take a little afternoon road trip instead of spending a bunch of money on each other and something like a fancy dinner out. We were home by supper time but it was so nice to sit in the car together for a few hours and just chat. We stopped for lunch and went for a little walk around a few local stores. Including lunch and gas the whole day probably cost us $100 this is, without a doubt the most we’ve spent on ‘’each other’’ in a long time.

When you’re on a budget you really feel the pressure when it comes to dating your spouse. Start with easy areas to save, we started with nixing unnecessary gifts. It really is the thought that counts and saving your money to reach your financial goals will keep you much happier than a materialistic item. Discuss this if you decide to do it though so feelings don’t get hurt. Budget or not I’ve never been on who wants gifts. I just don’t really like ‘’stuff’’ and if we’re going to spend money I’d rather save it for an experience together rather than something like a fancy watch.

Dates at home can be fun. Buy a few cheap treats at the store, and watch a movie together. This is something we don’t do enough and have few excuses as to why not. Getting a babysitter to even run errands together can be fun. Sounds dorky but we love a kid free stroll in Costco! Learn a card game, cook dinner together when kids are in bed…

Having a date with your spouse is about the time together not money spent. It be hard to get past the traditional ‘show up with flowers and wine and dine’ your spouse but especially after becoming parents you’ll quickly realize it’s about making the time for other person, regardless of what the event actually is.

What’s your favorite cheap date?

Are You Considering a Divorce?

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divorceThe holidays can be a wonderful time to spend with family and friends.  Though the holidays can be filled with a flurry of activity, most people enjoy the season because they like watching the joy on their children’s faces and the magic of the season.

But unfortunately, the holidays can also be a time of sadness if you are unhappily married.  While you may be able to ignore the trouble in your marriage during the year, the stress and togetherness of the holidays can bring into focus just how unhappy you are.  There’s nothing like attending party after party putting on a happy face when you don’t feel that way at all.

 

Don’t Jump to the End

If you’ve realized that you’re marriage is failing and you’re deeply dissatisfied with it, don’t automatically assume that you’ll need to get a divorce. Instead, you can try to talk to your partner and see if they might be willing to see a marriage therapist with you. If they won’t, you could certainly see a therapist yourself to learn how to deal with the situation. Often, just changing your own behaviors can inadvertently result in your spouse changing their behavior. Similarly, don’t assume that problems in bed mean that the marriage is ending. There are plenty of health conditions that can cause problems, and your partner may not even understand their problem themself. Erectile dysfunction, for example, is unlikely to mean your partner no longer finds you attractive. Instead, it’s more likely to be caused by hormone imbalances, so it might be a good idea to contact an ED Clinic Pasdena, or similar clinic in your own area, to determine the best course of treatment.

 

Consult a Professional

Another step you may want to take is to meet with an experienced divorce lawyer in Daytona Beach, if you live near there or to seek the counsel of one near you.  Consulting with a divorce lawyer doesn’t mean you will get a divorce.  It just means you’re looking at your options.

An initial meeting with a lawyer like those at Peters & May – your family law solution in Mayfair can help you understand what the process will be like and they will be able to give you legal advice surrounding your situation. The lawyer could tell you what steps you should take now, what is required in your state to pursue a divorce as well as how custody arrangements would likely work.

The lawyer will also likely remind you of all the implications of a divorce.  Alimony will need to be determined as well as the splitting of assets.

As well as using the services provided by the lawyer, you may want to investigate your partners behaviour further with the help of a private investigator. For example, if you think your partner may have been unfaithful to you and you need proof before going through with a divorce, then you could hire a Bond Rees private investigator (or amending this to your local area) as they will be able to dig deeper and reveal any secrets that your partner has been hiding from you.

Try To Make Things Work

For many, though, financially, it’s better to stay married.  If you don’t think your marriage is completely over, seeing a therapist and working through your issues is often the best course of action.  Depending on the state you’re in, you may face the loss of half of your retirement fund as well as alimony payments, if applicable.  If you’ve been a stay at home mom, you’ll likely need to re-enter the workforce, which can be a challenge after you’ve been out of it for several years.

However, there are times when a divorce is best for you and your family.  Only you know if you’ve reached that point.  If you have, a good divorce attorney can be very important both to help you with custody of your children and with the fair separation of assets.

If you know friends who’ve been divorced, ask them for their recommendations.  Family friends who are in the legal field may also be able to direct you to an attorney you can trust to get the best divorce settlement for you.

What other tips do you have?