
For babies and children, crying is a natural, regular part of emotional regulation. It’s how they express themselves and communicate their needs and fears to caregivers. However, sometimes crying can become excessive depending on your child’s developmental stage. If the tantrums and tears seem to be never-ending, here are 8 ways to decide if your child’s crying is becoming an issue.
1. Are They Crocodile Tears?
Older children and even toddlers may learn that crying gets them attention or something else they want. Sometimes, kids will use fake crocodile tears to manipulate their caregivers, which may be accompanied by high-pitched whining. Your first instinct may be to scold your child for this behavior to nip it in the bud. However, some experts say that acknowledging their emotions and helping them find a coping strategy (without caving to their demands) is a better way to handle the situation.
2. Duration
It’s normal for kids to cry or have a bit of a meltdown when they’re tired, hungry, or dealing with disappointment. However, pay attention to the duration of your child’s tears. If the crying is ongoing and lasts for hours, it may signal a deeper issue, such as physical pain, illness, or anxiety.
3. Other Symptoms
Kids who are crying due to pain, injury, or illness may exhibit other symptoms. If you’re concerned, be sure to take your child’s temperature and look for physical signs like swelling, rash, vomiting, and changes in eating patterns. If you notice anything out of the ordinary, it may be time for a visit to the doctor.
4. Negative Effects
Excessive crying not only negatively affects your child, but also everyone around them, including siblings and classmates. If your child has a crying problem, they may have trouble making friends or functioning at school. If your child’s teacher gives them a poor progress report due to this behavior, it may be wise to seek outside support. A school counselor or family therapist can work with your child on coping strategies and provide much-needed guidance.
5. Developmental Stage
Each child is unique and develops at a slightly different pace. However, there are generally certain age ranges when kids hit common milestones. Babies and toddlers use crying as a main form of communication, so expect lots of meltdowns. But by age 5 or 6, kids usually gain better emotional regulation skills and cry less frequently.
If your child is still shedding tears and throwing tantrums constantly at this stage, it’s possible that there are underlying problems. Getting a professional opinion can help you determine if your child’s crying is a real issue that requires further intervention.
6. Offering Comfort Doesn’t Work
Usually when a child is upset or disappointed, receiving comfort and validation from a caregiver helps calm them down. Experts suggest acknowledging your child’s feelings and providing a diversion, alternate solution, or calming strategy like mindful breathing. If soothing strategies never seem to work and prolonged crying is the norm, there may be something deeper going on.
7. Repetitive Triggers
Repetitive triggers can also signal that your child’s crying is a real problem. If your child consistently cries during certain activities, such as mealtime or bedtime, there may be an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. For example, your child may cry during meals if they have sensory issues and are overwhelmed by the smells, tastes, and textures of different foods. Nighttime anxiety or bedwetting could create tantrums before bedtime. If you notice this kind of pattern, working to meet your child’s unaddressed needs could help mitigate the tantrums.
8. Trust Your Gut
If your gut is saying that your child’s crying is a real issue, it’s probably wise to listen to it. You know what’s normal for your child and what’s not. If you detect an unusual change in their behavior, something might be going on. Speaking to experts like your child’s teacher or pediatrician can help you get to the bottom of it.
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Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance writer who enjoys learning about and discussing the psychology of money. In her free time, she loves to cook and tackle DIY projects.