Calling all worms. You! Yes, you! You’d better listen up, if you know what’s good for you!
I really appreciate all the work you do underground. I know you are great for our garden, flowers, and yard. We’ve maintained a friendly relationship over the years — you do your thing, and in return I leave you alone and promise not to make fish food out of you.
But something has changed.
I am so so so sorry to have thrown a wrench in things. I didn’t mean to. You know my sons A. and N. right? Do you remember how things went down last year? If not, let me refresh your memory.
Boys love worms
My boys love worms! Yes, they love you, and think you are the greatest things ever. They ADORE your sliminess! They love the way your move and groove, and they think it’s super awesome that you live in dirt — but BEWARE! These angelic, sweet and well meaning little boys love you too much! Is there really such a thing as too much love? In the relationship between children and worms — I’m afraid so.
“Come here little bug (if you dare).”
Last year, they often went in search of your kind. They made you their outdoor pets. They put you on swings, and swung you until you thought you might puke. If that wasn’t bad enough, they would pick you up, put you in the front packs on their bikes, and take you for a ride. Sure, traveling and doing new things can be fun — I’m just not sure the same is true in worm world.
I did my best to find and rescue you. I saved hundreds – no thousands – of you, but I am afraid to report that there were some casualties. I’m also very sorry about Walter Worm. Yes, he was the one A. was holding when he suddenly declared, “Uh oh! I bwoke him.” — and the one shall become two. Good thing you guys can just keep on going after an accident like that….hahahahaha
Oh sorry — perhaps that wound is still a little too fresh…
Anyway, I thought you all might have learned your lesson – but as I was pulling weeds the other day – I found tons of you little squirmies all over the place! As I said, I really appreciate all your hard work, but I just can’t – in good conscience – let you guys work your little hearts out (do worms have hearts? I need to look that up) only to become play things for my children. I can protect you a little but I am only one Mom.
“I see you little worm. Do you want to be my new friend? I’ll hug you, and sqeeze you, and call you George”
So my message is — RUN, or slither, or whatever you do. Seek refuge in the neighbor’s yards, dig down as deep as you can go, just don’t let yourselves be found by my children, unless you want to be their new BFF!
On your way out, you might want to warn your friends the caterpillars and rolly pollys too. All the best to you and good luck! You’ll need it!
Do your kids like to play with worms?