Kids Ain't Cheap

But They Sure Are Worth It

The Difference Between Being Cheap and Being Frugal

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There's a big difference between being cheap and being frugal. Here are three areas that makes this differentiation pretty clear!The other day two of my patients were arguing in my room while I was treating their daughter. The parents were arguing about their upcoming house purchase and what they needed to finish up before closing. The conversation quickly turned from excitement to a full-blown argument about how cheap the wife was. The husband wanted to buy all new furniture for one of their rooms while she wanted to use what they had for a while longer. Her argument was that she wasn’t cheap, but rather frugal, and had the family’s best interest in mind.

This differentiation is one that many people confuse. Though they may seem like similar terms, they’re actually quite different in their meaning. To help clarify the issue here are a few instances concerning being cheap and being frugal.

Dining Out

A cheap person may eat out frequently but elect to never tip. If you can’t afford to properly tip when dining out, don’t bother going, it’s cheap to not tip service.

A frugal person may elect to not eat out at all, or much more infrequently, as they would rather spend their money elsewhere. When they do make the decision to eat out they pay for everything, proper sized tip and all.

Product Selection

If a cheap person needs a new mattress for example, they will go out and buy the first cheap mattress they find, the deciding factor being the dollar amount. Even if this mattress falls apart in a few months they see nothing beyond initial dollars spent.

A frugal person will elect to not buy the mattress until they have saved up a dollar amount that will allow them to buy a quality product that will last them years. While they are saving for their upcoming purchase, they may elect to forgo other activities they don’t feel are as important as buying the mattress they need.

* This was the argument the wife in my office was trying to make. She didn’t want to buy the cheap couch her husband wanted but wanted to wait until the new year and buy a better quality one even if it meant moving into a brand new house with ‘crappy old furniture’.

Socializing

When it comes to socializing with friends and family, a cheap person may elect to go to events where they know (or assume) someone else will pick up the tab, or avoid going out, ever, because they don’t want to spend the money. This eventually leads to alienation from friends and family.

Someone who is frugal will go out but will likely be pickier about when and where they go but they won’t avoid socializing all together. They will also likely come up with alternative social ideas like taking turns hosting a nice dinner in, rather than spending money at a restaurant.

Frugality is a way of life. It can be very advantageous when used wisely and lead to many more opportunities in your life. Being cheap however usually ends up in wasted money and missed experiences. Only one of these ways of life knows the true value of a dollar earned.

How to Prepare the Babysitter For Your Trip Away Without Kids!

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For our first long trip away we've left a list of information with the babysitter. Here's how to prepare the babysitter when you're going out of town.We love going away with our daughter. In the four years since she’s been born we haven’t been apart for more than a quick overnight. We’ve always found ways to have her be a part of what we’re doing and had fun with it. In a few weeks though we will be taking our first adults only trip and leaving her for an extended period of time with a babysitter (in this case her aunt) while we’re out of the country. For the first time, we need to be much more prepared when we leave her.

Important Medical Information

Since we’ll be out of the country, and a six hour minimum flight away, should there be a medical emergency our babysitter will need access to her health information. Before we leave we will make sure our babysitter has a copy of our daughters provincial health card, medical insurance card should something happen that would require a prescription and our family doctor contact information. I hope none of this information will be needed but if an emergency arises having this information readily available will be one less stress for her.

Meal Ideas

Though our daughter is four, and can talk quite easily, I like to leave a list of meal ideas for the sitter to make her life easier. If my daughter had it her way she’d eat crackers and cheese with hummus for every meal. Also a few things she may request are made up words she uses to describe actual food. While I know what ‘’bunny pasta’’ is, the babysitter will likely have no idea!

A Schedule

We’ve never left her for long enough that someone would need to know how we like to manage her day. From wakeup times, to naps to bedtime. The sitter will need an idea of what to expect, and when. When parents aren’t around kids can easily manipulate their own schedule if left alone and keeping a kid, especially young ones, on a schedule will make everyone’s life much easier.

Special Instructions

Over the weekend that we’re away, our babysitter will need to take our daughter to her dance class. We’ll need to make sure she has all the info necessary to make sure she gets there on time and details like where her dance outfit is. I also need to let the school know someone other than her parents will be there with her.

Emergency Contact Information

Because we’ll be out of town I want to make sure our babysitter has a few local contacts in case of emergency or even if she just needs help with something. We’ll also want to leave the contact information of us, where we’ll be staying, as well as our flight information so she has an idea of when and where we’ll be.

Skype

Most importantly before we leave town we’ll need to make sure our babysitter has a Skype account so we have a little facetime with kiddo while we travel!

As much fun as we have when our daughter is around, a little adult-only time is necessary and this trip doesn’t have child-friendly events anyway (many late night events). As much as I dislike leaving her, I know she’ll have a super fun time with her aunt and probably not even notice that we’re gone!

What tips do you have when planning an out-of-town trip without kids?

One Parenting Skill Every Parent Should Master

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If you want to raise happy, well-rounded children learn this one parenting skill every parent must master.Parents love to see their kids happy. Especially during the tumultuous times of toddlerhood when their world doesn’t quite make sense, we like to see them as happy as possible. Being a parent is about caring for, and raising, confident, happy and well-rounded kids. To do this sometimes we have hard battles to contend with. One of the hardest parenting skills we have to learn to master is learning to say ‘No’.

Learning to say No isn’t easy but it is one of the best things we can do for our kids. The world we live in is not a world of ‘’yes’’ all the time. In my life I have certainly had more No’s told to me then Yes’s but I’ve also learned so much more from the no’s then the yes’s. It can be hard to watch your kids grasp the understanding of why we say no but they need to learn the importance of it.

I practice my balance of yes and no as often as I can. For instance when my daughter and I make one of our trips to the local dollar store, she will inevitably ask for something, a ‘’treat’’. Sometimes I say yes and sometimes I say no. Almost four years in, and she now understands that for a multitude of reasons she won’t get a treat every time. Sometimes it’s based on behaviour, sometimes it’s because I didn’t bring enough money, and sometimes it’s because I want to practice saying ‘no, we’re not getting a treat today’’ so she understands it’s not an event that will happen all the time.

Why We Must Learn to Say No

When we don’t master this skill, and don’t start early, we set our kids up for failure. Just last week I had two siblings come in to see me at work, aged 10 and 8. They both presented with malformations in their teeth and oral development that were indicative of sever thumb sucking. I asked the girls to which they denied sucking their thumb, I asked a few other questions before mom finally told me both girls were still using pediatric pacifiers every day, all day when not in school. Needless to say I was a little shocked and told both mom and girls that it had to stop immediately since their development was being seriously hindered by the object in their mouth.

I don’t know what I was expecting but I certainly wasn’t expecting mom to outright refuse to do it because ‘’she didn’t want to upset them in anyway and it was just easier to let them have it’’. All this after I explained the serious consequences (like not having any function of 8 permanent teeth and needing serious orthodontic treatment if they didn’t stop ASAP). I looked at her and said ‘’you’re the mother you need to step in and say No’’, a word clearly NOT in her vocabulary.

I hear so many horror stories of parents delaying their retirement or getting into a financial horror story from helping their kids out financially. So many times it seems like such an easy situation to avoid- just say no. I’m not saying we as parents shouldn’t help our kids out but if it put you in a bad situation you’re not actually helping anyone.

Learning to say no is a crucial lesson to teach kids. It helps set boundaries and protects them (and you too sometimes) from dire situations. In my opinion there are too many ‘’yes parents’’ out there, looking to fill some sort of void (maybe they work a lot or feel they put their kid in a tough situation with a move or something) regardless, saying yes too often will only have detrimental effects on both you and your kids.

How do you practice setting boundaries?

Have You Ever Considered Having a Mommy Card Made?

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When I first heard of business cards for parents I thought it was a joke. Now I'm considering having a mommy card made. Here's why.I remember a few years ago reading about this new trend in the parenting world dubbed ‘’Mommy Cards’’. It’s a business-type card which contains all your basic mommy (or daddy) information for another parent/teacher/coach /babysitter to contact you.

  • Your name and who’s parent you are
  • Phone number(s)
  • E-mail address
  • Some versions also contain photos of you and/of the kids, parent’s social media contact info and other pertinent info about your kid like allergies.
  • Never put your home address with all this above mentioned information because it could become a safety risk if card were to be placed in wrong hands. Also all social media accounts should always be on highest privacy setting.

I have to be honest, I thought it was a joke the first time I heard about them. I’m not sure whose idea it was, a parent or a printing company looking to make more money, but the whole idea seemed silly and like a colossal waste of money. In the last few months though my tune is starting to change and I’m seriously considering jumping on the Mommy Card train.

Why I’m Considering Getting a Mommy Card

As my daughter begins to get involved in her own extracurricular activities, I find myself engaging in conversations with other parents. This past weekend I talked to two other moms while our daughters were in ballet class for over an hour. We started talking about mutual contacts and birthday party ideas for our kids’ upcoming birthdays. Because our kids aren’t in school yet the relationships they make are coming from places like dance class and soccer. I have my daughter asking me to invite her new friends to her birthday and I don’t even know the moms names yet.

Many times already I find myself looking for scrap paper to jot down my contact info to give to another parent for similar reasons. I’ve had a few of my daughters friends parents find me on Facebook and reach out to me that way but without knowing our last name or my email address this isn’t always possible. I’m already envisioning in a few years dropping my daughter off to a birthday party or other event where we’re not present and how much easier it would be if I had something like one of these parental contact cards to carry with me.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a big deal (at all) to jot down the info on a scrap of paper when needed, but having one of these cards makes the info just seem a little more important or something. I know I personally would be more likely to take care of a business card than I would a crumpled up receipt with a note written on the back.

As my daughter gets more and more involved in things, and gains more and more contacts of her own, I feel like these cards could play a part in my role as her mom and keeping as many contacts as possible. Are they a necessity? No, but sometimes the silliest of things, in this case a ‘’Mommy Card’’ can solve an easy problem.

Have you heard of Mommy (or Daddy) Cards before? What do you think of the concept?

Photo Credit: summer78 / 123RF Stock Photo

Keeping up with the Joneses (Parenting Edition)

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For the first time I've felt pressure to maintain appearances for my daughter. So I wonder, are you, too, keep up with the Joneses as a parent?At the beginning of the year, my daughter started ballet. Halfway through the semester they have a public showcase which is a time where the families can see what is being accomplished in class and, as well a time for the students to get used to being outside of their studio and on a larger stage with an audience. By the time their annual recital comes around they’re a little more comfortable on a stage and know what to expect.

The showcase is not the full practiced recital with costumes and all. We were excited to see her dance though (parents aren’t allowed in the studio during weekly dance class to encourage independence/the studios aren’t very big) and she was excited to show off her moves. I was a little surprised to find out, that during this less formal performance, that parents would be bringing flowers to their kids. I didn’t know what to do.

For a formal dance recital performance, I understand that parents might bring a flower or small bouquet for a job well done and to congratulate their kids, but for a mid-semester quick showcase I wasn’t so sure. This was my first time so I was very much ‘’going with the flow’’. In the end, I decided that flowers for this day would be a bit much and were unnecessary, that was until I got a text from my sister-in-law.

Her friend has a daughter I the same dance company as ours. He called her to warn her that when they went to their first showcase they were literally the only parents without flowers for their daughter and it was nothing but tears for a few hours following. I didn’t want that to be us. I didn’t want to walk into the dressing room afterwards empty handed and have to explain in a roomful of pre-schoolers and parents that mommy and daddy didn’t bother getting flowers because they were a waste of money for such an event. We didn’t have time so our family made an emergency flower stop and picked up a small bouquet (50% off!).

This was the first time since having my daughter that I really felt like I was doing something to appease other people. Parents mostly. Don’t get me wrong, she was pretty excited to get a few flowers of her own, but I still feel like it was a bit unnecessary for the event in question. Had we not got the call from my sister-in-law, I would have stuck to my instinct and my kid would have been the only one (without flowers) and possibly spent the drive home crying, so in the end I’m glad we avoided that.

I’ve always very much gone to the beat of my own drum, and not cared what other people think about me, my family or any choices we make but I notice more and more that my thought process around my daughter to be more concerning with what other people will think. I think it’s partly because she’s not quite at an age to fully understand things. Sure we could have skipped the flowers and I could have attempted to explain that we only get them for recitals but she wouldn’t have really understood why she didn’t get any while everyone else did.

As she gets older and more understanding I think it will be easier to explain why we may do (or do not) certain things but for now I choose my battles.

Have you ever felt pressure to do something for your kids?

4 (More) Great Part Time Job Options for College Students

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Having a job as a student is a great way to offset costs. Here are four part time job options for college students that won't interfere with your studies.I had an inspiring conversation with one of my patients lately. She’s a university student, completing her master’s degree in social work and working four different jobs. I was immediately intrigued as to how she was managing so many different jobs, on top of completing a difficult academic workload, and I was impressed with how she set out to find so many different jobs that would accommodate her schedule.

I was pretty lucky with job(s) I held during university for no reason other than the people I worked for were great in understanding my schedule and willing to work around it. Any job I hold, I respect. I make sure I’m a worthy employee and my experience is that when you show up and do your best, keep open communication with your employer, they’re much more willing to work with you when you need time off. Never abuse this regardless of where you’re at in life.

Here are 4 (more) great job options for college or university students that would work well with any schedule.

Proof Read and Edit

This is something I’ve know quite a few people to do. They offer to proof read anything from lab reports to entire thesis papers. The pricing for this can vary so ask around or get on google for an idea to start. I’ve had friends make decent money for full editing of larger papers. Make flyers advertising your services and place them in academic buildings. You could even start a basic webpage advertising your services with testimonial too.

Banqueting

Again I have had many friends who work banquets at local convention centers and hotels on the weekend. The shifts are almost always on the weekend and only for a few hours. Easy to get studying done in the morning and work at night making decent money. Some do waitressing, some do event setup/tear down, it really depends on the venue.

University Library

This was the job to have on campus. They pay well, they’re great with schedules and encourage you to work on homework when there (after you’re done your work). There was everything from working the desk to IT jobs, to research to shelving and cleanup. Some jobs are reserved for educated librarians but most campus libraries hire students for odd jobs (and summer) as well so it’s worth looking into.

Babysitting (Before Class)

There are so many people out there who are looking for someone to watch their kids before school. Many of my friends are nurses. They need to leave home around 6am but their kids don’t leave for school until like 8am, which it too late for their spouse to stay home for their work so they -end up hiring before school care. This is a great job for a university student who’s classes may not start until a bit later. Bonus is that they often have weekend and summer babysitting jobs lines up too!

While in college or university, academics come first but it can be great to hold a job to help offset the costs. The key is to balance the two as best as possible.

Did you have a job while pursuing post secondary? Did it interfere too much with schoolwork?

How I Plan on Saving on Valentine’s Day

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Saving on Valentine's day is actually quite simple with a little planning. Here are the strategies we use for a fun but budget friendly Valentine's Day.I admit that as someone who is married, I’m not the biggest fan of Valentine’s Day. It always just seems very ‘’in your face’’ but as a Mother, I love it. Everything about having kids changes including your love of what I call, Hallmark Holidays.

My daughter gets so excited with every little event. Maybe it’s the excuses that come with it, like extra treats, but regardless we have fun with it. As much as I enjoy doing these little extras, I’m more concerned with our budget and how much it will cost. I’m not interested in spending an obscene amount of money on something like Valentine’s Day. Here’s how we plan to have fun with Valentine’s day as a family, without busting our budget.

Plan a picnic

Valentine’s day is in February and for us, that means cold. Having an outdoor picnic isn’t an option but instead we’re planning a family date night picnic style. We plan on saving our weekly dinner out for Valentine’s day but we’ll pick up something to go and come home and eat it picnic style (in the warmth of our house!).

Movie Night In

Our daughter is now at the age where she will, for the most part, sit through a movie. After we finish eating our picnic dinner, we’ll probably find a family movie for us to watch. To go to the theater on Saturday would easily cost us $50 for tickets alone so we’ll veg out at home in our pj’s and cuddle on the couch together. I would much rather this experience anyway.

Make Treats Yourself

My daughter will be having a Valentine’s day party at her daycare. We like to bring something for the kids to eat. I priced out a few pre-made valentine’s treats at the bakery and it was going to cost about $20 for what I was looking at. Instead I went to Pinterest and found a cheap and easy treat that cost me a total of $7 to make. It will also only take about 30min total to put together, with a busy schedule I also have to consider time.

Plan a Special Breakfast

Cooked breakfast isn’t something we often have time to do so I’m going to make sure we have time on Valentines to do so. Even something easy like pancakes or waffles, by adding a few Valentines sprinkles to the mix, there’s no doubt I will impress my three year old.

Skip Gifts

Our family won’t be exchanging gifts. My daughter did buy a $2 box of Valentines for her daycare party but that’s it. Instead of gifts we’ll be spending time together and enjoy some of the treats that we will make for her party (I did buy extras for us too!).

To me, Valentine’s day should be about demonstrating love, not buying things. Simply spending quality time with my family is all we need and it will be setting an example to our daughter that we don’t need to exchange ‘’stuff’’ to feel loved.

Does your family do anything special for Valentine’s day?

Beating the Winter Blues (without booking a trip away!)

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Do you have a case of cabin fever? Here are three ways to beat the winter blues on a budget. (Kid-friendly ideas!)If you live in a cold climate, winter likely has you dreaming of somewhere not so wintery. Don’t get me wrong, I actually enjoy living in a climate with four seasons, including winter, but there are days that will leaving you feel like you can only handle so much. Managing winter is one thing, managing it with a young kid at home can make it seem twice as long and you need to come up with ideas to break the season up.

Taking the family on a nice vacation somewhere for a week might be feasible for some, but others need to come up with easier, and cheaper ideas to break the cabin fever.

Visit the Dollar Store

If you’ve read any of my other blog posts you know I’m a huge lover of my local dollar stores. It satisfies many of my needs and cold winter blues is one of them. On bad winter days we usually head to the local dollar store to buy a new supplies to play with for the day. Today was a day off for me and we had no reason to leave the house except we started going a little stir crazy.

Off to the dollar store we went. For $5.00 we bought some paint brushes (we couldn’t find a single one at home…), a paint tray and 2 canvases to use. Kiddo had received some paint for Christmas and we finally broke them out. While my daughter was painting in the kitchen, I decided to re-organize my spice cupboard with new containers I bought, again from the dollar store. Painting and organizing may not be for everyone but it was a great use of our day.

Get Outside

When the weather is nice (by winters standards), we try and get outside. I enjoy winter activities when we can get out and kiddo loves it. Though we don’t do much beyond the building snowman and sledding at this age, soon we will be able to go skiing and other longer activities. Don’t let the weather scare you inside for months!

Hit Up Groupon

Groupon can become your best friend. It is a great resource to find inexpensive days and nights out for yourself or the whole family. I have found a few great deals on events for myself and things for us to do as a family for cheap. A local indoor play park recently had a BOGO Groupon. This is not only one afternoon planned but two for cheap! It can also be a great spot to find gift certificates to eat out (which can get expensive with multiple mouths to feed).

While I’m perfectly content staying in my own backyard in the summer watching kiddo run around, come wintertime I feel the need to get away from home and do stuff. If I’m not careful I could find myself wondering the halls of the mall, filling carts out of sheer boredom. With a little research and planning though I think we’ll get through the winter just fine without killing our budget.

How do you keep the kids sane in the winter? What are your go-to activities?

Favorite Dollar Store Items for My Family

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There's no need to spend a lot of money in these areas. Here are five things to buy at the dollar store!I love the dollar store. I have vivid memories of going to my first one while visiting my grandmother as a young girl. We didn’t have one where we lived at the time so we’d have to wait until we paid a visit to my grandparents to partake in the dollar store shopping shenanigans. Since my first visit many years ago, I’ve developed a deep love for my local dollar store, especially now that I have a family.

Having a family to care for has many different costs involved so when there is savings to be found, I jump on them. Here are a few of my go-to’s when it comes to shopping at my local dollar store.

Kitchen Supplies: I buy my cling wrap at Costco and that likely won’t change (I bought one roll 5 years ago and it’s still going strong!), but tin foil, parchment paper and Ziploc baggies almost always come from the dollar store. I love to bake using parchment paper and my local dollar store sells it in flat folded sheets which is much easier than fighting with a curled up roll!

Craft Stuff: We go through a ton of paper, stickers, markers, crayons and paint brushes… with a busy toddler we’re always creating something and the dollar store helps. If I was to rely even on WalMart for the stuff it would be super expensive but for $5.00 every few months we have a well-maintained art container. This will continue when kiddo is in school and working on projects too.

Party Supplies: We like to host get-togethers and the dollar store is our go-to for anything we may need. Depending on the occasion it varies but we’ll always check the dollar store before checking any specialty store. Balloons, gift wrap, paper plates are almost always from the dollar store. I’ve even found decent platters and bowls that I’ve required and been able to get a few uses out of.

Seasonal Decorations: Other than Christmas and maybe Halloween, I’ve never really decorated for any other occasion but having a kid has me doing all kinds of strange things, like put up Valentine’s day decorations in my house. I don’t know about your kids but my daughter has a ton of fun changing out a few decorations and the dollar store allows it. Not only do some of the stores have really nice things, they’re affordable.

Greeting Cards: I know they’re a waste of money, even at $1.00, but I enjoy getting and receiving cards so I buy them. A gift doesn’t seem complete without a little note in a card. However, other than a wedding (where I will dish out more than $1.00 for a keepsake card), I love the dollar store for all my greeting card needs.

The dollar store isn’t ideal for everything, sometimes you really do need to spend a little more money for quality, but at lease for these items its money well spent.

What are your favorite dollar store items?


Photo Credit: (c) Can Stock Photo

Creating a Beauty Routine on a Budget

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Creating a good beauty routine doesn't have to break the bank. Here's how I created a beauty routine on a budget. (And I love makeup!)The other day a fellow mommy friend posted a picture on Instagram showing a Sephora bag full of goodies. She was so happy to get the small, black and white stripped bag filled with goodies for under $200. I counted, she got 5 items for her $200.

As frugal as I am, I happen to love makeup. I remember counting down the days in Jr. high school until my mom would allow me to wear mascara. I’m not particularly ‘’girly’’ and have no problem walking around sans makeup, but given the opportunity it’s something I have quite a bit of fun with. As much as I love makeup, I love money savings more. If given $200 to spend on makeup, it would last me over two years.

I’m not judging how someone chooses to spend their money. If you want to use a decent chunk of disposable income on beauty supplies, to each his own. My preference though is to look good on a budget and for me this mostly means quality drugstore products.

Buy Makeup From the Drugstore

This isn’t going to be a product-recommending post because, quite honestly what works well for me may not work for you at all. What I will say though is that ‘’drugstore’’ quality products have come a long way in the last few years.

I’ve tried a few expensive brands on some items (I’d never pay more than like $8 for mascara though) but honestly in the last 10 years especially, the quality and selection of some drugstore brands outweighs some of my high-end stuff, to the point that I can’t justify the major difference in price.

It took me a few years to find a really good foundation, I eventually did find a name brand one that worked for me for years. It was during my maternity leave (when I couldn’t justify the $34 per bottle anymore) that I decide to try a well-reviewed drugstore one. I immediately felt like an idiot when my new $12 bottle was out performing my expensive one. I now have three favorite drugstore foundations, all under $15 which I rotate through.

Watch YouTube Makeup Reviews & Tutorials

This is where my first tip comes in. You Tube. I am borderline obsessed with YouTube makeup videos. My favorites being product reviews. If there’s a product you think you may be interested in, or you’re searching for something new, check out YouTube.

What I love about YouTube beauty vloggers, is that they give great, honest, opinions on different products. Most of the woman will test a product all day and do through the effort of showing you how it wears as the day goes on. Some will also do things like take pictures using flash photography so you get more ideas of how the products appear. You Tube is the place to go when looking for opinions on any products. YouTube vloggers are also great at giving tutorials for different ‘’looks’’.

Shop Amazon

My next ‘’tool’’ for a frugal beauty collection is Amazon. Things like beauty brushes are usually much cheaper on Amazon than they are in any store. Good quality too.

I find most of the actual products to be pretty comparable to prices I can get at stores around me though so unless it’s a product I can’t find around here, or looking to saving on shipping (in which case I’ll add a product I frequently use), I’ll just buy products here. I often check prices though just to see what they’re selling for as a reference point. I like EBay too but find Amazon to generally be quicker with shipping and easier to deal with for returns.

It really doesn’t have to cost hundreds of dollars a year to have a great quality makeup look. If you’ve been using the same expensive products for a long time, I suggest picking one to try to replace with a ‘’drugstore’’ brand. It will probably surprise you!