Kids Ain't Cheap

But They Sure Are Worth It

Children and Computer Safety

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kids computer timeSince having a child, I have become increasingly aware of the world around me. I can’t read the newspaper or listen to the news without something bothering me. Something that gives me a stark reminder of the world we live in. Though we parents we try our hardest to protect our children, we can’t always be with them.

With schools all over the world commencing this month, children will soon be flocking to internet resources for both school projects and sheer enjoyment. The internet is a realm that we as parents will have one of the most difficult challenges in terms of protection. We now have to worry about stuff like cyber-bullying and sickos praying on children.

As parents, it is so important that we implement computer-use guidelines early on and make sure they are reinforced.

 

Password and Location

I am of the opinion that passwords, especially in young children, need to be shared. We need to know what is going on with our children and computer time. If children are young (less than high school) they don’t need their own computer. Even in today’s computer driven world, a home-based family computer will do. Place the computer in a family friendly area where you can’ easily see what they are doing. Make sure it’s in a spot they can get some quite time if doing homework but not locked away in their bedroom.

There should be 100% transparency with what happens during computer time. Everything from homework to Facebook. The computer is not the place to be sharing private or personal information. Your child should have nothing to hide and gladly share all passwords with you. Children need privacy but the internet is not that place to do it. Encourage them to write in a diary or talk on the phone with friends. Make sure the understand the importance of never sharing anything private.

 

Limit Time

While I respect that kids need computer time for homework, kids in general spend way too much time in front of screens. Set a realistic time limit to how much screen time they are allowed per day and abide by it. Make sure children regularly engage in activities that don’t involve technology. Cooking, sports, drawing, reading, something other than retina-burning screens.

 

Who Do They ‘Friend’?

Facebook (and all other social media) brings a whole new level of safety concerns onto my radar as a mom. You can connect with people all over the world and quickly find out everything about them in an instant. Make sure you pay attention to your child’s social media accounts. Check in on them regularly and make sure you know who they are talking to. As a parent you should know everyone on their social media sites. If you don’t know who someone is (classmate, friend-of-friend), find out.

With the rate that technology accelerates it will be so important as parents to stay on top of everything. There’s a fine line between protecting your child and invading their privacy, but I don’t think the internet is a place where private information should be shared and children need to understand that. If guidelines are laid out early on, there will be much less resistance and more mutual respect.

What is your take on computer safety and children?

Rewarding Students for Good Grades?

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Rewarding Students for Good GradesGrowing up, children have very few responsibilities in life, make your bed, help with chores, be a nice person and do well in school. Given that doing well in school is really the only task throughout your day that requires any real effort, should we be rewarding our children for good grades? Something we expect from them anyway?

 

Rewarding Good Behavior

Rewarding a good, or positive, behavior isn’t necessarily a bad thing. People in general, do better in life when they receive positive reinforcement. As a working adult, if I only ever heard from my boss when I did something wrong, I would begin to resent our relationship and loath anytime he wanted to chat with me. We, as humans, like to know when we’ve done something good, or right, and always appreciate the acknowledgement of a job well done.

 

Not All Kids Are Self Motivated

Kids are no different. If you’re struggling to have them help with chores around the house, a simple reward chart that includes something small like stickers every time they accomplish something, is often enough incentive to have them work harder. Kids like to see how far they’ve come and how far they have to go. They are very visual learners.

Not all children are self-motivated. Some kids are innately self-motivated while others are not and need sticker charts for chores. I was always self-motivated and getting good grades for myself was all that I needed. I didn’t need my mom asking me if my homework was done. Of course it was. I motivated myself through life on nothing other than good grades and hard work, but most of my friends did not. Though my friends did well in school it was often because their parents helped them with homework every night and rewarded them at the end the year for a job well done in the form of a present.

There is nothing wrong with parents helping children with homework, on the contrary. I think it is hugely important to understand everything your child is learning for more reason than one, but I don’t know if rewarding them at the end of the year for a job well done is the right message.

 

Sending Mixed Signals

My concern is that if a child is rewarded with a present at the end of the school year for doing something we expected them to do anyway, they will maintain this mentality throughout life. As  adults we know not all jobs have bonuses and rewards for simply doing your job. What job satisfaction will they have if they don’t get a bonus or reward? Shouldn’t we teach our children to be happy with a job well done and not have them expect a present?

 

My Thoughts on Rewarding Students for Good Grades

I am of the opinion that children should be taught to be proud of what they accomplish academically. That praise from family and friends should be enough. I don’t think it’s appropriate to buy a 5th grader a new bike because they finished the school year with good grades, as expected. Upon high school graduation, I think a gift is appropriate to acknowledge many years worth of work and effort coming to an end, and the movement into the next phase in life. Individual grading gifts are over the top though. At the end of the school year, have a nice family gathering and celebrate the end of the academic year and start of summer together. Congratulate your child for a job well done in non-monetary or material items.

For more on kids and their education check out these other great articles.

What to Get The Graduate in Your Life
What Would You Sacrifice to Pay for Your Child’s Education
Should You Save For Post Secondary or Spend it on Experience?

What is your opinion on grading gifts?