Why Dogs Make Horrible Babysitters

First of all – I would just like to say – that I do not suggest using your dog as a babysitter while you and your spouse go out for a “date night.” If you would like to go and have a pedicure do not leave your dog in charge of the children. It is not even acceptable to leave your kids with the dog while you run to the store really quick. I know this and would never do such a thing because of course — it is illegal! Besides that, dogs are just no good at changing diapers, getting kids to eat their vegetables, or putting children to bed at a descent hour.

What I am talking about instead, are those times when I just needed to leave the room for a moment and thought, “The babies are in their exercisers and the dog is watching them; how much trouble can they really get into?” Oh boy, let me tell you; things can get ugly fast.

Leaving the dogs in charge

One example of this is happened, when I left my dog in charge of the boys, they were about 18 months old — (Yes, I realize how crazy that sounds.) They were in their high chairs, happily eating some cottage cheese – one of their favorite things to eat at the time – they were using their spoons, and everything! It was an idyllic scene; something straight out of a Norman Rockwell calendar.

I had been cleaning, and decided to run the garbage outside really quick. I would be right back and it would take 30 seconds tops!  So there were my sweet little boys and my sweet doggie. I told the dog, “You’re in charge. Mommy will be right back.”

Huge mistake! HUGE!

When I walked back in, it looked like someone had turned on a snow machine as soon as I shut the door – and apparently – they had. The boys were covered in cottage cheese, the dog was covered in cottage cheese, and the kitchen was covered in cottage cheese. Yes – that’s right folks, the kitchen I had just cleaned was now totally cheesy.

The boys were laughing and flinging cheese in the air like it was confetti — and what was my sweet, responsible dog doing you might ask? She was licking the cheese off of everything, as fast as she could.

Since that day, I am totally convinced that dogs and children can communicate! I’m pretty sure the conversation that my dog had with the boys that day, went something like this.

The dog: “Hey, boys! You know what would be really fun?”

The boys: “What?”

The dog: “Wouldn’t it be great to throw the cottage cheese in the air like it’s snowing? That would be really fun and totally hilarious! I bet Mommy will think it’s hilarious too! Do you boys want to do that?”

The boys: “Yeah!”

The dog: “Aren’t I the best babysitter ever?”

The boys: “Yeah!”

When I posted a warning to others via my Facebook page “FYI — Dogs do not make good babysitters” the only thing people wanted to know, was if I had pictures. Pictures? Are you kidding me?

Of course, now I wish I had taken the time to take pictures but all I could think about then was cleaning everything up – that was spotless – only minutes before.

So if you are thinking about leaving your dog in charge of the kids – learn from my mistakes and don’t do it!

Do you have any funny stories like this?

Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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